Buffy Meets
by sirtechlocke
Summary: Buffy meets ... so many different people in her lifetime. It's crazy!
1. Buffy Meets Jim Kirk

Buffy Meets Jim Kirk

This story is No. 1 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy meets James Tiberius Kirk. She likes what she sees.

Disclaimer: I don't own either, mores the pity.

* * *

"So, this is the future." she snorted at the unbidden thought. Even though she had lived every day of the past few hundred years Buffy Ann Summers, every now and then, still felt surprise. It was just so... bright and shiny! Of course humans had to go through the Eugenics Wars, World War III, and The Cleveland Hellmouth opening for a full year.

Willow figured out how to kill two birds with one stone to close all the Hellmouths and get rid of most Demons. She got with the Devon Coven, The Charmed Ones, and other assorted witches, warlocks, and Wizards. Yes, Wizards using Wands that lived on the same planet but didn't deign to mix with 'muggles'. Yeah, that didn't last long.

The Magic users were able to reverse the polarity, or something like that, of the Hellmouths. Several standing tornadoes formed all around the world that day. Each was stationary above a Hellmouth pulling demons, monsters, goblins, and vampires into their stygian depths. Balance demons, half-demons, and vampires with a soul were not affected. It was all very Jumanji.

All Slayers were called in to guard the Magic users arrayed at each Hellmouth. Near as Willow could figure that is what gave everyone involved something akin to Eternal Youth. So, here she was, a couple centuries old Slayer working for Star Fleet, training the youth of the day. Having heard of this particular Cadet was taking the test... again. Buffy couldn't resist she had to tag along as an observer.

Kid didn't know when to quit while he was behind.

Buffy liked him though, he reminded her of a cross between Xander and Angel. Now, a few minutes into the simulation, she was hiding her smile while stifling a chuckle at hearing a fellow instructor exclaim, "Did he say don't worry about it?"

Another instructor, one she thought was too narrow minded, responded, "Is he not taking this seriously?"

Buffy had to look away from the observation window to hide her growing mirth.

"_Finally!_" she happily thought, "_Someone to shake up the establishment. You go kid!_"

Controlling her breath Buffy struggled to bring herself under control. She turned around just in time to hear the cadet at Navigation report, "Our ship is being hit. Shields at sixty percent."

The 'Rock Star' in the Captain's Chair nonchalantly said, "I understand," as he reached down grabbing an apple he had secreted on his seat.

The Navigator asked, "Well, should we, I don't know, fire back?"

Cadet Kirk answered with one word, "No," then proceeded to eat his apple. Quite noisily. Buffy could feel the laughter threatening to bubble up out of control again.

"Of course not." the navigator responded incredulously.

Then the power went out.

The narrow minded instructor, Buffy could never remember his name, exclaimed, "What is this? What's going on?" as the power came back to full.

"_Oh My GOD! What a dork!_" Buffy shouted in her head. Ignoring her fellow instructor, one Lt. Commander Buffy Summers in charge of Security, watched in gleeful surprise as Jim Kirk upped the ante. He was fully into Rock Star mode now. She watched him point out the Klingon's shields were down, ordering one photon apiece. When the Cadet added that he didn't want to waste ammunition Buffy almost lost her control.

Biting her lip, almost drawing blood, she coughed to cover her laughter enjoying his antics. Strutting around the Bridge she couldn't help but to compare him to a peacock. Taking another huge bite of his apple after ordering his crew to begin rescue operations almost did her in. His boasting of all enemy craft defeated, no one being injured, and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru reminded her of nothing more then a Bull Ape beating its chest.

Another stuffed shirt instructor commented to the only alien instructor in the control room, "How the hell did that kid beat your test?"

Mr. Spock, a vulcan-human hybrid, stoically answered, "I do not know."

Buffy focused on one James Tiberius Kirk whispering under her breath, "Oh, this is one to watch!"


	2. Buffy Meets The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

This story is No. 2 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: You just gotta have fun while Slaying! Right?  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Fresh Prince, mores the pity.

* * *

"Run Carlton, run!" Buffy heard some idiot in the graveyard shout out in the distance. Stopping beside a mausoleum and stretching her senses she worked to get a feel of where they were... there!

Jumping to the roof of the structure she heard another idiot shout, "I'm running Will, as fast as I can!"

"Well, get off your knees and run faster!" Will shouted back.

"Really Will? Short jokes at a time like this?"

"It's always time for short jokes Carlton! Bwha-ha-ha!"

Sniggering under her breath Buffy noted the warmth in the not-so-distant repartee. Thinking hard she tried to remember if she had ever heard those voices before. Crouching at the edge of roof she caught sight of them approaching through the trees. The two twenty-something dark-skinned guys wearing bright, fashionable clothing were running as if the hounds of hell were on the... Oh, Vampires.

"Well, they're in good shape. They move well, especially the shorter one." Buffy observed silently peering from above a mausoleum. She watched as they ran along the side of a clearing, four vampires chasing them. She had to duck down to the edge to avoid being seen. A suspicion formed and kept her from jumping in and dusting the vamps.

She struggled to keep from giggling when the chasers and chasee's had made their second circuit of the clearing. Buffy could almost hear the Loony Toons theme song playing in her head. Then the taller of the two let out a 'Whoop! Whoop!', reminding her of Daffy Duck, hopping just out of reach of one of the Vampires. Buffy barely clamped her hand to her mouth in time to cover her laughter.

By the third lap one of the vamps slowed down becoming suspicious. Looking around caused him to fall behind his comrades. Facing forward to catch up, passing beneath a tree, the vamp failed to notice a noose drop causing it to skid to a stop. Hands raised quickly to grab the rope when, with nary a sound, he disappeared into the tree! There was the sound of escaping gas and paper tearing, then naught but a cloud of dust appeared drifting from the tree in the wind.

Buffy, laughing quietly returned her attention to the Vamps chasing the two young men. Suddenly, the female of the group stopped, looked around, and shrieked, "Tony? Tony, you lousy excuse for a boyfriend! Get your ass out her no-"

There came a 'swish', 'thunk' as a crossbow bolt struck the screeching vamp in its chest. Again there was the sound of tearing cloth as the creature became nothing more than dust in the wind.

"Oh thank God!" Buffy thought, "I would've done the same just to shut her up!"

A glint of metal in the darkness snapped her attention to the vampire eating tree. Buffy noticed two swords sticking out of the ground that weren't there just a bit ago. The humans, Will and Carlton, snatched them as they ran past skidding to a halt. The Vampires were unable to stop themselves when the men spun swinging the swords at neck height.

One vampire dropped to its knees, skidding under the swords arc on the grass. The other... not so lucky lost his head. A young girl, late teens to early twenties swung down from the Vampire eating tree (Buffy couldn't help but to think of it that way.) She bounced, flipped, and landed behind the last vampire. Her arm described a short arc over the monsters shoulder, dusting it back to whence it came.

Straightening up the young girl faced the men smirking, "Ain't I a stinker?"

"Ha!" Buffy heard Will yell, "Ha! I got one." He started dancing around the clearing swinging his hips and pumping his arms in victory, continuing his diatribe, "Yeah! Who da man? Who da man!"

Carlton, the shorter of the duo, looked bored and declared, "I don't think so Will. I got that one while Ashley got the other three. You're still behind us even with the handicap we gave you."

"Oh, c'mon Carlton!" Will responded, stopping his dance, swinging his blade, "You saw how tall that guy was!"

"Yeah, that's why I jumped." Carlton finished smugly.

Ashley, who had been looking around checking the perimeter, jumped in, "Will! You're my cousin and I love you. Keep it down, we got some more of these things heading our way."

"Aww man!" Will whined petulantly, kicking at the grass. Looking askance at Ashley, all pretense of the clown gone, he asked, "How many more?"

Buffy quietly made her way down from the mausoleum, ghosting to the clearings edge.

"About a good dozen more." Ashley decided gazing into the distance.

"Good." Carlton stated.

Looking at Carlton in total disbelief Will incredulously asked, "Good? Good?! Carlton, cousin of mine. You did hear your little sister the Vampire Slayer tell us there are a DOZEN more of these things heading our way?"

"Well, yeah." Carlton answered nonplussed. Winking at Ashley he declared, "We got Ashley, a Slayer. We got you with the speed and strength of five men." he gestured conjuring a fire ball in his hand then snuffing it, "We got me with the Magic." then looking directly at Buffy he invited her out declaring, "And we got the Queen Bee herself."

Gesturing to her he announce like a game show host, "Ladies and Gentlemen it's Buffy Summers! Buffy, come on dooowwwn!"

A smirk pulling at her lips Buffy stepped out of the shadows of the trees asking, "How did you know I was here?"

"Like I said, I'm good with Magic." he answered. Gesturing to his sister Carlton explained, "I get a certain sense off of Slayers. It has to do with their presence and aura. Yours is very strong."

Blushing he added, "Plus I did some research on you when we joined your Facebook Page."

Eyes widening in surprise Buffy cried out, "You're G-Money!" Pointing at Will she realized, "And you must be Fresh Prince!"

Gaze resting on Ashley she hesitated. Brow furrowed in confusion she asked the girl, "And... and I don't know who you are?"

"I'm Little Sister Slayer." Ashley proudly announced.

"You're Little Sister Slayer?" a voice asked from the edge of the clearing. A male Vampire dressed like a gang-banger glanced at his gang excitedly telling them, "Guys! This is her... the one from Facebook, man!" turning back to Ashley he said, "I KNEW you looked familiar!" then he promptly turned to dust.

Putting the repeating crossbow on his shoulder Will stated, "I knew there's too many Vamps on Facebook!"

And the fight was on.


	3. Buffy is Touched By An Angel

This story is No. 3 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Slayers and Angels... Need I say more?

Disclaimer: I don't own either, mores the pity.

* * *

"Is there no way we can help more directly?" the young woman asked her friend and mentor.

Brows scrunched, lips pursed in exasperation, the older woman lightly admonished her friend and apprentice, "Now Babyangel, you know we can't directly interfere. We can only guide."

"Oh Tess," the younger woman responded, wringing her hands in worry, "it's just... it's the First Evil Tess. And I worry so."

Tess smoothed her features calming herself with a supreme effort of will. Comfortingly squeezing the younger woman's shoulder she prodded, "Monica, where is your Faith?"

Taking a deep, much needed breath, Monica pushed her worries and concerns away. Keeping her eyes on the school in front of her she nodded, acknowledging, "You're right Tess. As always it comes down to Faith."

The walls, the ledge, the very cavern itself was crumbling. Still Buffy couldn't leave, not yet. Reaching out she slid her fingers in between those of the Vampire before her. Flame flashed bright and Holy, flaring around their clasping hands. Gazing into the eyes of the en-souled Vampire that had been an enemy, a lover, and a friend (in that order) she solemnly swore, "I love you."

A serene smile steals over his face as he responds, "No you don't. But thanks for saying it."

A big quake rocks them and some more of the ledge drops into the abyss. Unable to move from the energy coursing through him Spike shouts, "It's your world up there. Now GO!"

Their eyes lock, Buffy can see the sincerity that had never been there before. She understands and bolts for the exit.  
Spike looks back on the destruction of the Hellmouth chamber before him. Smiling wickedly he states to whomever would hear, "I wanna see how it ends."

Andrew, the Angel of Death took a moment from his work basking in the brilliance of Spikes soul. Closing his eyes he offers a prayer of support for he who has become a Champion, whispering on the wind, "May the Lord God grant you protection Spike." Noticing the magical energy of the medallion Andrew knew he would not be gathering Spikes soul, not just yet. Speeding up to Anya's prone form Andrew gently grabbed the last soul before streaking out of the vicinity of the Mouth of Hell.

Staring back towards the epicenter of the disturbance he fervently prayed, "I do hope Monica and Tess are able to help the rest."

Tess was already at the bus having made sure it was still in working condition. Fixing the minor oil leak and conjuring more oil had left her a bit peaked. Still she couldn't leave, not just yet.

"Oh babygirl, you take so many chances young Angel." Tess fretted metaphysically drawing Giles attention to the bus.

Monica walked slowly, gracefully through the ruins of the Sunnydale High School. As she had that day, with Tess's help to hold the Mayor in his Demonic form in the old library, she banished fear from her heart. Listening, using all of her Angelic senses, Monica placed herself right where Buffy would be able to see her as the Slayer came barreling out of the entrance to the Hellmouth.

Whispering into the wind she directed, "This way child."

Without waiting, having Faith she was heard, Monica flew to the next junction. Glancing back she saw Buffy already halfway to her current position. A surprised smile flitted across her lips while whispering for Buffy's attention. Monica increased her speed as well until they were out of the building.

Buffy sped past the shocked Angel whom stopped when realizing the bus wasn't there anymore. Tess and Andrew, carrying Anya's soul appeared by her side. They watched the Slayer bound up the fire escape almost like she was flying to the roof of a nearby building. Unfurling their wings the three Angels slowly rose into the morning air. They watch as the ground below falls away, as Buffy races across the rooftops until leaping through the air to catch the racing bus.

A gasp and Monica is gone, a streak of Holy Light appearring. She speeds under the Slayer and is able to give her a little boost in the form of an updraft of wind. Monica flew up and away as Buffy lands safely on the bus. Unseen the trio of Heavenly Angels fly formation around the bus, assisting where necessary until they pass the town limits.

Andrew lands first setting down Anya as she is waking up. Tess and Monica land as well still watching the bus as it skids to a halt, safe from the collapsing town.

"Tess?" Anya asks, "Is that you?" looking down at herself she asks, "Am I ..."

Andrew nods solemnly, slowly allowing her time to soak it all in.

Monica spun towards the bus starting towards it, shock and disbelief in every line of her form.

Tess, concerned, asks, "What is it Monica?"

Pulling back Monica whispers, "I'm not sure. I thought I felt..."

"Monica? Andrew?" Anya gasped in surprise. Looking around her gaze fell on Tess dropping Anya to her knees, "Tess? Oh Tess..."

Salty tears spilled onto the sandy ground. Crying in full remorse Anya begged of Tess, "Tess, could you ever forgive? For all the times..." hesitant, unsure what to say or do next Anya broke raggedly asking, "Tess! Please! Forgive me!" looking up to the heavens she once more begged, "God in Heaven above, please forgive me. I repent!"

Tess stepped forward taking Anya's hands in hers she asked, "Anya, do you truly repent of all your past sins."

Anya tearfully nodded an affirmative.

Pulling her to her feet Tess asked her, "Well baby girl. Have you ever heard of a Whitelighter?"


	4. Buffy Meets Blossom?

This story is No. 4 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: What the title says...

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. Me being deep in debt should be the first clue.

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Stone-faced in unbridled rage Buffy watched the young woman scream her denial. Arms crossed, practically hugging herself, she observed the newly found Slayer through the one-way looking glass. Inside the padded cell the young woman, her brunette hair in wild disarray, screamed once more then fell to sobbing softly.

Buffy huffed, "Open the door, then lock it behind me."

The orderly accompanying her eyed her askance then shrugged. He unlocked said door while reflecting, "Get a job in the health-care profession, they said. It's an easy job, they said. Ha, I say!"

Stepping to the side he allowed the short blond woman to enter the padded cell as she ordered, "Do not open the door for anyone else and for God's Sake stay out no matter what!"

"Yes Ma'am."

Standing just in the room Buffy waited till the lock click closed. Slowly she approached the sobbing form careful of any sudden moves. Once within arms length she forced herself to relax and, sure enough, the young woman on the bed broke her bonds. Moving quickly, even for a Slayer, the previously restrained girl's hands snatched out towards Buffy.

Buffy sighed, letting the other woman's hands close over her wrists. she flowed forward as Buffy felt her jerk on her wrists. At the last second Buffy twisted her hands around the others wrists, breaking her grip. This allowed Buffy to push the crazed woman's arms to her chest.

The girl lashed out with a kick. A random, misdirected, poorly aimed kick. Buffy just grunted but backed away from the bed as the girl rolled to a crouch.

"I've always wanted to do this..." Buffy thought while moving quickly through a standing Kata. Then extending her right arm she made a 'come hither' gesture. The girl's eyes widened. She shrieked and leaped roaring her pain at the world.

"I did say I was sorry already?"

"Yes," Buffy responded nursing the bump on her noggin, "yes you did. And I've accepted. So please stop Blossom."

"Sorry." she whispered looking down. Realizing what she said she looked up startled and babbling, "I, I mean... sorry for saying sorry! Not the other 'sorry'." Taking a deep breath, eyes wide she said, "Sorry!" then looking down she whispered, "sorry."  
Suddenly she locked eyes, staring at Buffy with such intensity as to make the elder Slayer fidget. Slowly, wondrously Blossom related to Buffy, "My name is Amy Farrah Fowler. I am an only child."

Focusing on Buffy she whimpered, "Why?"

Raising an eyebrow in consternation was Buffy's only response.

Staring off to the side, continuing to speak in a slow undertone Amy went on, "They abducted me a month ago from my apartment. I had just had the most wondrous date with Sheldon. They held me without water or food for three days. Then, whoever they were, they cast a spell."

She focused on Buffy stepping out of her memories and said, "That's the last thing I remember as Amy." gesturing to her head she added, "Now, I have a lifetime of memories as this Blossom Russo person. I do not know if she was real or not."

For the first time Buffy spoke up, "She's not. Real, that is. Blossom was a T.V. show back in the 90's. A sitcom."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Buffy twisted to her left sitting up a little farther on the wall. The padding was not that great for sitting on as her right buttock could attest too. She stared blindly into a corner of the padded cell and asked, "How do you feel now?"

Giving it a moments consideration Amy hesitantly said, "Goood. Not great, but good." A small smile touched her lips as she joked, "At least I'm not feeling homicidal rage. I'd just really would like to know what it was all about, ya know?"

Buffy had her suspicions, but now was not the time.


	5. Buffy Meets Walker, Texas Ranger

This story is No. 5 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Faith and Buffy on a (wait for it) Road Trip!  
Disclaimer: I don't own BuffyVerse or WalkerVerse (?)

* * *

"C'mon Buffy!" Faith urged jumping out of the Jeep Wrangler before Buffy could come to a complete halt.

"What's gotten into you Faith?" Buffy shouted after the other Slayers retreating figure. Getting no answer in return she shrugged her shoulders and hit the E-brake, turning off the Jeep's engine. Making sure everything she needed was in her purse Buffy primly made her way across the parking lot. Opening the door to CD's, a bar/restaurant Faith had expounded upon time and time again, a blast of cool air wafted over her driving away some of the heat and humidity of the Texas weather.

They were on a Road Trip.

Buffy was adverse to the adventure at first, but Faith, with help from everyone else, almost wore her down. In the end they threw her out, literally, told her not to come back til the next Apocalypse season. After all the new Council was setup, with Giles at the helm. Willow and Kennedy spent half their time as roving troubleshooters and the other half with the Devon Coven. Dawn was going great guns at Oxford and Xander...

She still wasn't sure it had been a good idea to send him out to Africa on a shoe-string budget.

Walking in and catching sight of her traveling companion Buffy shrugged her shoulders. Reflecting silently she thought, "Meh, he's doing okay, upsetting the apple cart over there."

"BUFFY!" Faith shouted, "Get your Queen Bee Slayer behind over here girl! Got some wicked righteous people you GOTS ta meet!"

Hiding her smirk Buffy put on airs of congenial curiosity stepping up to the table loaded with people in Cowboy Hats. She frowned slightly, realizing they were either all cops or at least in Law Enforcement of some kind or another.

Upon seeing her sister Slayers moue of confusion Faith walked around the table to Buffy. Placing her arm on Buffy's shoulders, shuffling the hesitating women closer, she expounded, "I know what you're thinking girl."

Gesturing to the people at the table she said, "Time was I wouldn't be caught dead in a room full'a cops." winking at the bearded man she announced, "But these ain't cops Buffy. These here are Texas Rangers!"

Startled, Buffy glanced at Faith and then took in the measure of the group around the table saying, "So, you're the Texas Rangers that helped Faith with that little... problem."

The bearded one softly agreed, "That'd be us Ma'am."

Buffy quickly pointed out, "Please. Call me Buffy. When someone calls me Ma'am... I just feel so frumpy." shooting Faith a faux-shocked expression Buffy exclaimed, "Oh no! I've got frumpy-hair! Please tell me I don't have frumpy-hair!"

At that she spun on her heel practically running for the Ladies Room. Faith's laughter followed Buffy all the way to the door. Turning back to her friends she reassured them, "Don't worry. She's always like this." calming down slightly she grinned ruefully, sharing, "Actually, it's good to see. I was getting worried 'bout her."

"What's going on dahlin'?" CD, owner and proprietor of the bar asked, concern evident in his voice.

Sitting down she sighed. Looking around at her friends she espoused, "Look. Buffy's been goin' through some deep personal sh- stuff" she amended with a sidelong blush to the bearded man next to her, "and... it ain't my story to tell. Just treat her like regular folk, okay?"

Sharing confused and concerned glances they all came to the same conclusion. CD spoke for them, agreeing, "Sure thang dahlin'."

"Now. CD, you got some of that famous chili ready." Faith asked all light and carefree once again.

"Yes, I sure do!" CD beamed as he headed to the kitchen.

"Buffy!" Faith exclaimed as her sister Slayer rejoined them.

"Gonna make with the intro's Faith?" Buffy queried sitting in the seat vacated by CD at the blond woman's prompting.

Pointing at the bearded man Faith introduced, "Buffy. Meet Sgt. Cordell Walker, Texas Ranger. Washo meet Buffy Summers." gesturing to the blond practically sitting on his lap she said, "This is Walker's fiance..." Faith started then stopped in complete shock upon seeing the engagement ring on the woman's finger, "...Fiance!" slapping Walker on the arm she joked, "About time you dog!"

That got a chuckle from all those at the table and a wan smile from Buffy. Starting up again Faith said, "Anyways, Walker's fiance is one Alexandra "Alex" Cahill, Tarrant County's best Assistant D.A.!" causing Alex to blush.

Smacking her hand on the dark man's shoulder to her right Faith added, "And this is Sgt. James "Jimmy" Trivette. He's Walkers partner." in a stage whisper behind her hand she joked, "He keeps Walker in the 21st Century."

"And that..." Faith finished, gesturing to the older man carrying a tray of bowls of... something that made Buffy's stomach grumble loudly, "is CD. This man can make Chili so good you just gotta make a song and dance about it!"

"Aw, gowan you." the man said, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. Placing the bowls down, one each in front of the girls he jovially admonished, "I know you two got hyper-active metabolisms so I made a double helping for each of ya. And if'n that ain't enough, got more in the back. Dig in. Dig in!"

Faith did just that. With gusto. Slowing down she swallowed and asked, "Ya gonna sit there looking at it, Yo? Or ya gonna dig in?"

Everyone slowly turned to watch Buffy causing a slight flush to crawl up her cheeks. Slowly taking the spoon she dipped it in the tasty looking concoction, bringing it up to her lips. She took a small whiff and then...

Buffy took a bite of CD's super-duper, ultra-hot Chili with Jalapeno Peppers.


	6. Buffy Meets Nash Bridges

This story is No. 6 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: One Lt. Joe Dominguez peered over his ray-bans that protected his deep brown eyes. His swarthy skin paled at the sight of a dozen piles of dust and what looked like some kind of 'goo' over in the corner. Whistling low in surprise the balding detective...  
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

"Yo bubba, whadd'ya think of this?" The lead detective called out to his partner, running his hand through close-cropped sandy blond hair. Stepping back to move his medium build, early forties form out of his shorter partners way Nash Bridges blue eyes narrowed in distaste. His partner heard him mutter, "God, I hate bloodsuckers."

One Lt. Joe Dominguez peered over his ray-bans that protected his deep brown eyes. His swarthy skin paled at the sight of a dozen piles of dust and what looked like some kind of 'goo' over in the corner. Whistling low in surprise the balding detective bent down to examine one of the dust piles while saying, "Damn Nash. Looks like we got Vampires. Again."

"I was afraid you were gonna say that." Nash glumly responded, brows furrowed in concerned concentration.

"Afraid of what Boss?" Inspector Harvey Leek asked walking up to the scene. Taking in the room, empty except for dust piles and something gelatin-like in a corner, he blanched. Shaking his head he turned back to his car saying, "I'll go call the Buffster, Boss."

"You do that Harv." Nash replied distractedly, somewhat preoccupied by the sight before him.

"Do what Nash?" Inspector Bryn Carson asked, curiosity evident in her sparkling brown eyes.

"Hmm?" Nash hummed twisting to face her, lost in thought. Memories flashed by of what he had to do to convince her to rejoin the team. Smiling softly he distractedly informed her, "Oh, Harv is going to call a friend of ours. She's an expert in this type of situation. This has happened before while you were.. not here."

Popping an eyebrow while crossing her arms, Bryn archly asked, "Oh really? Nash, why is it most experts you know are women?"

Looking fondly at Bryn he said, "I got you back on the team didn't I?"

"Yeah, but she's got you there Nash-man." Joe chuckled having come back from instructing the uniforms on how to properly secure the crime-scene.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm surrounded by comedians." Nash groused,

"And strong independent women, Yo!" belted a sultry voice from behind them.

Joe smirked hidden from view by Nash who dropped his head while pinching his nose. Shaking his head he turned, taking in the dark-haired beauty before him. A tight, athletic frame packed into a woman of average height. Long, lustrous black mane flowing to her shoulders gleaming in the California sunlight.

"Hello Faith and how are you today?" he asked, his voice a low monotone.

The young women dressed like a biker chick complete with combat boots, leather pants, wife beater, and leather jacket crossed her arms. Pouting she asked, "Ah, c'mon Bridges. You still holding... that thing against me?"

Face set he stared hard into her chocolate brown eyes until she started to fidget. Suddenly, breaking into a huge grin, his face seemed to shine like the sun as he laughed, "You're forgiven Faith."

She relaxed, smacking his chest when he moved in for a hug. Nash cajoled, "You know I gotta tease ya 'bout it."

"Yeah, yeah." she muttered, but smiled a soft smile for a man that was so much like a father to her.

Releasing Faith he looked over at Joe, "Look who's here bubba."

"Yeah, I'm seein'." a grinning Joe said stepping into Faiths hug as well.

"Inspector Carson. This is Faith Lehane. Faith, Bryn. I think you two will get along just fine." Nash introduced the woman to each other.

"Uh-huh." Bryn said warily.

"K." Faith agreed popping an eyebrow up to her hairline.

"Yeeeaah." Nash said. Taking a sharp breath he asked, "So. Faith. Here to visit, take in the sights?"

"You could say that." Faith answered as a diminutive blond walked up asking, "You gonna hog the Nash-Man Faith? Don't I get some quality hugs?"

Sighing, Nash glanced at Joe saying, "Round 'em up Bubba. Order some take out. It's gonna be a long day."


	7. Buffy Meets Goliath

This story is No. 7 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy and Gang meet Goliath and Elisa  
Disclaimer: None of these Characters are mine. I'm just playing in their sand box.

* * *

"Elisa!" the beast roared, gliding quickly into the clearing seeing his friend under attack. Thumping to a hard landing the Gargoyle hit the fiend knocking him loose. Grabbing the stranger by the neck and pants he threw him a good few dozen yards.

"Goliath?" Eliza whimpered too hurt and weak from blood loss to raise her head. Whispering as loudly as she could Eliza warned the grey-skinned Gargoyle, "Watch out... he's... a vampire..."

"What? A vampyre?" he gasped, shock coursing through his system.

Rising to his feet, said vampire bragged, "I don't know what you are creature, but I'm hungry for blood. You've interrupted my feeding so you'll be first. Gonna rip you a new one boy!" so saying it raced forward, jumping into the air attacking the winged creature. Goliath's eyes turned white in rage at the evil undead creature's words. Growling low in his throat he spun, jumping with wings unfurled to meet the airborne monster belting forth a roar of challenge.

Wrapping his hands around the vampire's throat he bore it down into the earth holding it there. Sniffing the body beneath him Goliath could only smell death and decay. Rasping, he asked, "Is there none of humanity left inside you creature? Are you one of the Soul-less?"

Laughing, the ex-human answered by declaring, "I'm gonna bathe in your blood sucke-urk."

Goliath tightened his grip stating, "I don't think so," and ripped it's head off, the creature falling to dust.

"Whoa Buffy," a voice stage-whispered not too far behind Goliath, "ever seen anything like that before?"

Spinning in place Goliath sniffed catching the new arrivals scent. Shock widened his eyes realizing where he had caught that particular odor before. A thousand years or more, so long ago, since he had smelt a slayer. Moving slowly on all fours to Elisa, eyes glowing he snuffled catching the change in her scent matching what he smelled from two of the woman before him.

Eyes dimming, he calmly asked while checking her injuries, "Elisa? When were you going to tell me you had become the Slayer?"

"Huh?" she whispered, "You know 'bout Slayers?"

A grumbling laugh issued forth, the vibrations relaxing her pain racked body. He pointed out, "Dear Elisa, have you forgotten? I am a Gargoyle. I am familiar with the Supernatural."

She reached up caressing his face and whispered, "Oh. Right."

"You two wanna get a room?" called a sultry voice from a group gathered near them.

Looking up in surprise the unusual couple noticed there were four people watching them. Goliath helped a blushing Eliza to her shaky feet while inspecting these strangers. The wind blew their scents towards him causing him to growl, "For your sake Witch I hope you are not against my kind."

The red-headed Witch hurriedly reassured him, waving her hands in denial, "Hey, no problem here. Uh-huh, no sirree. I'm gay and my girl-friend has a tongue stud! I believe in alternate lifestyles! I -"

The one-eyed man next to her pinched her lips together adjuring, "Breathe Wills."

"It's okay Goliath," Elisa reassured him, "I met them a few days ago. They're good people."

"And besides," the short blond woman piped up, "you're vibe? Sooo not a demon-y vibe."

Puffing to his full height he declared, "I am Goliath, a Gargoyle. I and my clan protect this fair city. We are defenders of the night!"

The blond woman stood tall letting her power forth. Goliath could feel the predator within as she also declared, "I am a Slayer, a Mystic Warrior. I and my 'clan' protect the world from that which goes 'bump-in-the-night'. We are defenders of the night!"

Suppressing his laughter he turned to Elisa admitting, "You're right," letting a smirk cross his lips, "I do sound quite pompous when I say it like that."

Smiling she agreed, "True," pulling him down by his ears she kissed him. When they came up for air she admitted, "But I still love ya, ya big lug."

The blond cleared her throat saying, "Didn't we say 'get a room' already?"

Amidst the laughter she stepped forward sticking out her hand in greeting, "I'm Buffy Summers," crooking a thumb over her shoulder she added, "And that's my crew."  
"Oh, we're her crew now are we?" the brunette Slayer groused.

"Pipe down Faith or I'll have you training the mini-crazies for the next month." Buffy threatened.

"I'll be good!" Faith agreed putting on an exaggerated look of innocence.

Buffy pointed to each of them, introducing, "That's Faith. The pirate with the eye-patch is Xander," "Aargh!" he threw in, "And the Wicca, not Witch, is Willow."

"Willow?" Goliath's eyebrow climbed to his hairline, "Would your online name happen to be RedTreeWicca?"

At her nod of acquiescence he snorted, "I keep telling Lexington to be more careful of his online identity."

A gasp of shock and Willow babbles, "You-mean-I've-been-chatting-with-a-Gargoyle?"

At Goliath's nod Willow... sqee'd.

Everyone covered their ears in pain. Distant howls of fear filled the early morning hours.

"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed, "Don't DO that."

Chuckling Goliath glanced to the horizon noticing the oncoming dawn. Leaning over to Elisa he asked her, "Dawn is almost here. Is the car nearby?"

Looking in the same direction she cursed, "Crap!" grabbing Goliaths hand she tried to run but stumbled. She would have fallen if not for the Gargoyles steady hand. He reassured her, "It's all right Elisa. Allow me the keys. I'm sure these fine folk will assist you to your car."

"Okay." she agreed handing her keys to him.

Puzzled, they watched him streak off towards the parking lot nearby. Buffy asked, "I thought Gargoyles turned to stone during the day time?"

Elisa smiled a, 'I know something you don't know' smile. She cajoled, "Look. Get me to the car and you'll get your explanation."

"Deal." Buffy agreed.

Scant seconds later the group arrived in a vacant nearby parking lot. The only vehicle around was an older model red sports car. Goliath sat on the lip of the open trunk pulling on a loose pair of cargo pants.

Willow said, "Um, Goliath? Won't those turn..." she couldn't finish as the sun chose that moment to peek over the horizon.

Light swirled and played over Goliath's form. He seemed to shrink in on himself, his wings melding to his back. He grunted as his legs shortened and straightened. His skin changing to a lighter hue completed his change.

Goliath was human.

A bare chested human with dark brown, almost black eyes. He girded himself for any possible recriminations so was shocked when he heard Faith purr.

"Heelllooo, Salty Goodness!"


	8. Buffy Meets Ghost Rider

This story is No. 8 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy on a Motorcycle! What kind would she ride?  
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

It was all Faith's fault.

At least that's what Buffy was currently doing her best to convince herself.

_**Flashback**_

_"Look Buffy, I know it goes against your Valley Girl-ness," Faith half-whined, "but you just gotsa try this Bike!"_

_"I don't know Faith." Buffy prevaricated, "But me and anything with wheels have been un-mixey things."_

_Throwing her hands up in disgust Faith practically roared out, "That's why I keep telling you to try a bike! It's a blast and can keep up with our reflexes."_

_Suddenly realizing she was alone Faith spun around searching for her sister Slayer of the blond persuasion. She jumped, oh about three feet in air, when a motorcycle engine roared to life behind her. Turning the leap into a forward somersault, with a twist, Faith landed knife in hand._

_Buffy, grinning like a loon revved the engine one last time. Placing wrap-around shaded goggles she stated, "The difference between you and me on a bike faith…"she grabbed the handle bars, "I make this look good."_

_**End Flashback**_

"_It is sooo her fault!_" the thought ran through her head for the tenth time in the past half-hour, "_And it had been SUCH a nice night._"

She bent closer over the gas tank coaxing a little more speed out of her baby. Dust clouding behind her as she sped over the desert floor. Handlebar grips gripped tight she kept her bike on the straight and narrow up the naturally formed ramp. Catching air Buffy allowed the throttle to pull back then leaning up and forward she kept the front tire at just the right height.

"Yeee-Haaaaw!" Buffy yelled out. She couldn't help herself, it came out of nowhere. Especially since she could tell her jump was successful. Surprise, shock, and triumph flashed across her face as she sailed through the air. The plateau she aimed for was 30 feet away and 10 feet higher than the edge of the ramp she was flying away from.

Landing, her rear tire was immediately followed by the front tire allowing her to lock the back brake first. Swerving to the left she locked the front brake sliding sideways to a stop. Taking a deep calming breath she looked back, seeing the distance from a different perspective.

"Oh wow", she breathed, "I can't believe I did that!"

"I knew you could Dahlin'!", came the merry voice from behind and to her side. The tall, lanky man in biker leathers pushed off from leaning against his bike. Strolling without a care in the world he approached Buffy saying, "Just remember. Commit to the jump. Feel it in your bones and you'll have no problems."

"Of course", he added striding to and sitting on his Bike, "having your Witchy friend Magic it to never run out of gas, brakes or tires, helps. Don't it."

Grinning to beat the band Buffy revved her bike swinging next to him.

Hopping, foot coming down on the kick-starter the man's Bike roared to life. The engine revved as Mystic Fire roars up about the Bike and his form. Turning his now blazing skull Ghost Rider said to Buffy, "Let's Ride!"


	9. Buffy Meets Urkel

This story is No. 9 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy, Faith, Xander, and Kennedy are trying to stop a Vampire from blowing up the Council. Again. They meet a new Slayer on the way who has her own... Well, don't know if you'd call him a Watcher or not...  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Family Matters, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!  
Summary: Buffy, Faith, Xander, and Kennedy are trying to stop a Vampire from blowing up the Council. Again. They meet a new Slayer on the way who has her own... Well, don't know if you'd call him a Watcher or not...  
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go...

* * *

"Did I do thaaaat?" the young man asked in his high pitched nasally voice, the dust from the staked vampire blew away in the light wind.

"Damn B!" Faith exclaimed, "He's not a Slayer. He's clumsy as hell, but he's killed more Vampires in a day then Kennedy has all year!"

"Hey!" Kennedy shouted while fighting for her life.

Steven Quincy Urkel gasped, seeing the girl he longed to marry (when they're older of course) knocked back by another Vampire. Yelling, "Laura!" he snapped off his suspenders running forward. Snatching up a large rock he handed one end of his suspenders to Buffy and Faith sliding to a stop between them. Placing the rock in the middle he pulled back muttering equations to himself about the angle, approximate weight of the rock, and let go with a twang!  
Missing the Vampire it bounced off one tree, caromed off another to streak back towards the grappling duo. Buffy, Faith, and Urkel all yelled in unison, "Laura! Duck!"

Reflexes honed from years of having a friend like Steve the newly christened Slayer dropped into a split. With an evil smile she straight armed her antagonist right in the bread basket. Steve and Xander, whom had dispatched his Vampire, crossed their legs covering their nether regions in genuine empathy while exclaiming a deep, painful, "Ooohhh!"

The Vampire gusted out a non-existent breath with the fist-sized rock choosing that moment to impact right between his eyes. The un-dead fiend, propelled by the kinetic energy imparted from the stone missile performed a 270 degree back flip, ending with his face buried into the ground. Again the guys of the group let out a yelp of "Yowza!" in commiseration. In a manly way, of course.

Unnoticed by all gathered, friend and foe alike, the rock sped off and upwards into the night sky describing a high parabolic arc. Kennedy, having just stabbed her sparring partner in the back as he had been distracted by the pain his un-dead partner heard a faint whistling noise. She looked up just in time to notice that self-same inert missile gathering speed on its downward journey. Following its path further Kennedy noticed its Final Destination. Eyes wide in alarm she screamed, "INCOMING!" and dived ungraciously behind a tombstone.

The granite missile hit the stockpile of varied explosive's the Vampires had been gathering. Those explosives were the very reason for tonight's raid by the Slayers. Steve had been so worried about his paramour he tagged along without them knowing.

It only took a second and everyone else did the same, except for the Vampire left behind. He had recovered, heard the warning and sped toward his stockpile of explosives yelling, "Nooooo!" He jumped, but was too late.

The rock broke through the one and only glass of nitroglycerin in the middle of the stockpile. This, naturally, caused the unstable liquid to… well, explode. The rest of the dynamite followed suit instantly after. Fortunately, the explosives had been stored within a coffin. Even more fortunate said coffin was still six-feet down in the ground.

Just not under anymore.

They were all told later (much later and out of Steve's earshot) the resultant mushroom cloud could actually be seen for a distance of up to five miles away. The Vampire running toward the explosion was lucky in that he didn't get burned. The shock-wave though caught him while in the air and blew him away to land unceremoniously behind our heroes.

Standing slowly, the Slayers (those unused to life with Steve Urkel) stared at the widened hole in the ground shock etched upon their features. Laura simply stood, grabbed the slightly smoking vampire throwing him back into the clearing. Steve, for his part had shouted out, "Whoa momma!" as the mushroom cloud dissipated. Glaring at the Vampire he pointed to the epicenter of the explosion admonishing, "Look what you did!"

The Vampire for his part grabbed a loose stake near him and jumped to his feet. Glaring at the Slayers, Xander, and sending poisonous eye-darts at Steve he yelled, "That's it! I Quit."

He staked himself.

"Damn." Faith drawled.

"Harsh." Kennedy agreed, exchanging a fist bump with Faith.

Laura said, "That's my man.", Pulling Steve into a hug and a kiss. Steve enjoyed it until he had to gasp out, "Laura… ribs… need breath… shooo!"

"You'll get used to it." Faith reassured her, smirking in Xanders direction she slinked, "Ain't that right boytoy."

Xander could only blush.

"Ewww!" Buffy exclaimed, "Mind Bleach!"

Turning towards the happy couple Buffy stuck out her hand saying, "Hi, I'm Buffy, the skank is Faith.." "hey, I resemble that remark!" "… the other skank is Kennedy. And the pirate is Xander."

Steve had grabbed up a stake in the process of making sure Laura was all right. He threw it off the side in order to shake Buffy's hand. Everyone stopped at the sound of a meaty 'thunk'. Turning to the nearby bushes a vampire stepped out, looked at them then at the stake in his chest. He said "Dang", and promptly dissolved into dust.

Everyone, except Laura, looked from the new dust pile to Steve, then back again. And back to Steve who said,

"Did I doo thaaat?"


	10. Buffy Meets The Pretender

This story is No. 10 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: The Slayer Meets The Pretender

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

"Hey Jarod!", Buffy piped entering the quiet library and spying the temporary Library Assistant heading into the stacks, arms loaded with books.

"Miss Summers," Jarod nodded ducking out from behind the shelves. Grabbing up some more books from the cart he told Buffy, "Mr. Giles had to head out to the nearest UPS store. The latest shipment came in a bit late for delivery."

"Ship-" Buffy started but stopped when realization hit her, "oh, right. That shipment. The important… stuff."

Jarod peered over his glasses. Whispering, with a wink, he teased,"Giles is right. You really do… how would you say it… ah, 'suck' at the secret identity thing."

Pouting, Buffy crossed her arms with a 'huff'. Grousing she observed, 'It's not like you don't know, you know. The Watcher-y and Slayer-y… stuff."

Chuckling Jarod finished, placing the last book on the shelf. About to step away from the shelf he stopped, cocking his as if hearing a strange noise. Listening Buffy could hear voices of some people about to enter the Library. Before Buffy could react he pulled her by the wrist behind the bookcase out of sight of the library entrance. Pressing his finger to his lips they heard a woman call out, "Hello? Anyone here?"

Even as Jarod shook his head no Buffy grabbed some relevant books from the shelves, snatched Jarod's glasses off his nose, and stumbled out toward the common area of the library.

"Hi.", Buffy greeted the three strangers, two men and a woman, shyly. Shuffling toward the stairs she asked, "Can I help you? 'Cause if you're looking for the Librarian, he isn't here just yet."

Just for effect she stumbled down the steps letting a couple of books fall to the floor. "Crap!" so saying she rushed to the desk then back to the books just as the older man helped pick one of them up for her. Cheeks slightly blushing she stated, "I hate dropping books. Every little bounce damages the spine."

"Quite.", the older man stated. Once Buffy placed the book safely upon the table he stretched out his hand, introducing himself, "My name is Sydney, this is Ms. Parker, and the quiet one over there is Mr. Broots."

"Nice to meet you," Buffy answered with a little nod of her head. Responding in kind she offered, "I'm Ann one of the student assistants."

Pleasantries out of the way she turned back to the table, placing a pencil behind her ear as she started sorting the books.

"That's nice," the leggy brunette woman said snidely, "when will the Librarian be back?"

"Oh! He's gone for the day," Buffy stated, pausing in her work, then offered, "if you like I can take a note or contact information for when he gets back?"

"No, that's all right," the woman stated icily. Snapping at the two men she ordered, "Broots, Sydney! Let's go."

Buffy continued sorting through the books on the table as they left. Exiting the library the older gentleman, Sydney, glanced back watching her. He paused, searching the library for any sign of the man he came to consider as a surrogate son. Nothing.

As he left through the swinging doors Buffy picked up two books, carrying them with her up the steps. With a quick glance she 'considered' where they were supposed to go then moved behind the bookshelf hiding Jarod. Pulling the pencil from behind her ear Buffy wrote, "we've been bugged" then "hang tight".

She walked out with a different book, stopped, looked at the book closely. Sighing in exasperation, looking imploringly to the heavens she stomped further back into the stacks. Once out of sight of the doors she placed the book on a shelf and jumped, her feet landing on opposite upper shelves. This allowed her to push the ceiling tile up and out of the way. Jarod slid around the corner as she dropped back down. She pointed up. Nodding, Jarod gave a wan smile and the okay sign.

As he quietly clambered in the space above she strolled out of the stacks with the 'correct' book. Piling all the books on the table she took the stack to the office. Walking back out Buffy grabbed her backpack as the bell rang for the next class.  
A few hours later, Buffy, Willow, and Xander met at Giles' apartment. Walking up to Jarod, who was sharing a 'spot-o-tea' with Giles she demanded, "Okay, who are you really?"

He met her gaze then glanced cautiously at everyone else gauging their mood. Locking eyes with Buffy he sighed and said, "You are The Slayer; Buffy Anne Summers, a Child of Prophecy."

"Okay. We know all this," Buffy stated, "what about you?"

"My name really is Jarod. I am The Pretender, also a Child of Prophecy."

Giles grew white as a sheet, dropping his favorite cup of tea and whispering fearfully, "Oh Dear Lord."

Buffy sighed, "Great! I feel another apocalypse coming on."


	11. Buffy Meets The Dukes of Hazzard

This story is No. 11 in the series "August 2013 Fic-A-Thon". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy meets the Dukes of Hazzard! Will the General Lee survive? I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go...  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Dukes of Hazzard, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers! Crap. LiveJournal is down at this time (10:44pm EST)

* * *

"Buffy!" Dawn cried out, "Nooo!"

* * *

She woke up realizing she was in bed. Rolling over she dragged the covers further up, almost over her head, to block out the light streaming in the window. Buffy's eyes snapped open. Her bedroom window did not let the sun in in the morning hours. Sitting up she realized this wasn't her bed or bedroom, that is unless someone had gotten a king size bed when she wasn't looking.

"Oh good," a tall brunette woman piped merrily entering the bedroom, "ya'll had us worried for a spell. How are you feeling?"

Stock-still Buffy sat staring at the curvaceous brown-eyed woman. She watched the stranger sit on the bed facing Buffy and didn't flinch when she placed a hand on her brow. Buffy finally managed to gasp, "What… How… Who?" she finished pointing at the woman.

Shaking her head a rueful smile crossed her lips. She exclaimed, "Oh lordy, where are my manners. I'm Daisy Mae Duke. According to your license ya'll are Buffy Anne Summers." Daisy brandished Buffy's Driver's License squinting and saying, "Also, it appears ya'll is from the future. Cause, Dahlin? It's 1986 not 2002."

"Oh. No." Buffy stuttered, "It's a.. it's a gag gift. From a friend. Of my family. A family friend?"

Daisy just stared at her, eyebrows raised, in mild amusement. Her face dropped and completely serious she said something very shocking.

"You are also the Slayer."

Buffy did a very good impression of a fish.

Suddenly, Daisy smiled all sunshine and flowers once more.

Taking a very deep breath Buffy said, "Oh, you're very good."

"Why thank ya!" Daisy exclaimed perkily, "Ya'll are too kind!"

Smacking the bed Daisy jumped up. Pointing to the closet she offered, "Fresh change of clothes is in there Buffy. Bath is down the hall. Come on down to the Kitchen when you're done."

* * *

Freshly showered and shampooed Buffy entered the downstairs kitchen feeling… refreshed.

Standing by the counter in her tank top, short-shorts, and heels Daisy clapped her hands saying, "Hey ya'll, listen up."

The three young men at the kitchen table, one in a sheriff uniform, stopped joking while the elder country gentleman paused in flipping his pancakes. Glancing at Buffy they politely waited as Daisy introduced her, "Everybody, this is Buffy Anne Summers. Buffy, the blond heartbreaker is Bo Duke, the rascal next to him is Luke Duke, my cousins. That's Deputy Enos Strate, he's the one what found you. And that is our Uncle Jesse Duke."

Each of the men uttered greetings, "Hi!" "Hello!" "Howdy!" "Ms."

"Um, Hi?"

Jesse ordered, "I gots lots of victuals prepared young lady. Now you just sit down in that chair right there."

Somewhat dazed Buffy slowly sat down feeling uncharacteristically shy. A plate completely covered by the biggest omelet she had ever seen was placed in front of her. Jesse grinned, "Eat up Slayer."

That broke Buffy's shock. Gathering herself she demanded, "Now hold on. How do you know I'm The Slayer."

In answer Daisy quirked an eyebrow saying, "Bo?"

Chuckling her overly tall cousin stood up hooking his elbows back. Daisy cupped them and lifted him off the floor of the kitchen.  
"Ah." Buffy said. Smelling the omelet she took her fork and started eating.

* * *

Buffy was gone.

"It was only a tiny drop of my blood." Dawn told Willow. Curled on the couch clutching to her Willow-y life line she whimpered, "It was just a DROP of my blood! I was trying to scry the past to do… research, yeah."

Willow snorted, stroking Dawns hair and said, "Suuuurrre.", sarcasm evident in her voice.

Dawn tilted her head up trying to pout. Willow gave her 'resolve face' so Dawn dropped the pout. She said, "Not buying it huh?"

"Nope."

Pensively Dawn sat up crying softly, "Oh Willow, what are we going to do? How are we going to get Buffy back?"

"I don't know yet Dawnie," Willow said biting her lip thoughtfully, "But we'll think of something."

At that moment there came a knock on the door. Looking at each other, puzzled they rose to look out the window. A tall busty brunette woman stood there looking around then knocked once again. Sharing a glance Dawn and Willow shrugged and moved to the front door.

Upon opening it the stranger's lips broke into a sun lit smile. Rushing forward she grabbed Dawn in a hug exclaiming, "Oh ain't you just the cutest little thing!"

Turning to Willow she said, "And you must be Willow!" hugging the confused red-head Wicca immensely.

Dawn broke in stating, "Okay, you know who we are. Who the hell are you?"

"Dawn Marie Summers, Language!" came a surprisingly familiar voice from the open door.

Willow gaped in shock. Dawn open and closed her mouth like a fish.

Buffy stepped into the doorway as Daisy said, "Ya'll misplace somthin'?"


	12. Buffy Meets Daphne Moon

This story is No. 12 in the series "August 2013 Fic-A-Thon". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: It's a couple years after the formation of the New Watchers Council. All Slayers are now required to under a psyche evaluation. They need to hire a Shrink. Frasier is about to get his world rocked!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Frasier, wish I did. Then I could be psychoanalyzed while helping Buffy Slay. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

"Dr. Frasier," Daphne informed the Master of the Apartment, "You have some visitors from the Council."

"Thank you Daphne," she heard him respond through the closed bedroom door, "Please inform them I will be out shortly."

As Daphne returned to the living room she heard a British accented voice say, "I say, this is quite a spectacular view!"

"That was one of the main requisites Dr. Crane made when finding an apartment," she told him then asked, "Would you like some refreshments? Tea or, uh, coffee?"

"Oh yes," the scholarly gentleman replied looking over hopefully from the glass doors to the patio, "do you have any Darjeeling?"

"Why yes," Daphne replied smiling softly, "I'll go make some."

He rewarded Daphne with a soft smile of his own causing his bespectacled eyes to crinkle in pleasure. A nod of tanks and Daphne turned her attention to the two women on the couch. Daphne had always known she is empathic and sensitive to the energy of life around her. She knew that is why she was such a good physiotherapist.

But now… now her senses were fair to overwhelm her! Daphne could see them, how they looked in the 'material world'. She caught her breath seeing the predator wrapped in the thin layer of civilization around the blond woman. Then she made the mistake of fully regarding the redhead, a goddess made flesh. No, not goddess, not yet, for Daphne caught a glimpse of the willowy redheads future.

Daphne fainted.

She awoke by degrees, hearing voices drone in the background. As she rose from the depths of slumber Daphne could tell she was spread out on the couch. Getting closer she could feel everyone in the room to a degree she had never felt before. Her employer, Frasier Crane sat at the dinette table with the Bright Star and the Dark Predator. Her fellow Britain stood near them sipping his tea, smelling of musty books and hard steel. Martin, Frasier's father, he of the hard polished metal and sweat-stained oil sat in his easy chair in relaxed attentiveness. All this she sensed in the moment it takes to go from drowsy sleep to full wakefulness.

Her eyes flew open wondrously staring at Frasier Crane's brother Niles. Sitting on the edge of the sofa, pulling the damp cloth from her forehead he cautiously, nervously regarded her. Concern rose from him in bands of puce while he glowed in his love for her.

Gaping at him she realized silently, "_He glows in his Unconditional Love for me. Niles is so pure and innocent in this regard._"

"Hi Daphne, Do you feel well?"

"_Such a simple question_," she mused silently calm once more claiming her. A sensation of weightless floating descended upon her. Smiling joyfully Daphne sat forward tenderly kissing the man she had come to love in such a short time saying, "Yes Niles. I will marry you. I consent to be your wife, your love, your life."

One tear of joy and rapture escaped as Niles took her hands, exclaiming, "Oh Daphne, My Dream, My Joy! I love you so!"

"Get a room you two!" Martin crowed in delight. Facing his eldest son, fighting to hold on to his 'cool', to not leak his own elated tears he quipped, "Hey look Frasier, a Moon made a Crane fly!"

"Dad!" came from his sons while Daphne cried, "Mr. Crane!"

The blond and the redhead giggled at their antics while the elder Britain cleaned his glasses. Excessively.

Rising Frasier declared, "This is wonderful news Daphne! Congratulations!"

After shaking his brothers hand and hugging his soon-to-be sister-in-law he gestured to his guests.

"Allow me to introduce Ms. Buffy Anne Summers, Ms. Willow Rosenberg, and Mr. Rupert Giles. Ladies and gentleman, I present my father's therapist Ms. Daphne Moon nee Crane."

A bow, handshakes, and hugs abound.

"These people are on the new board of the Worldwide Watchers Council," he stated, "They have offered me a job counseling their… employee's."

"I had a dream," Daphne moonily stated, "We, the four of us, were in a mansion. Niles, you and you're brother were helping the girls come to grips with their… situation. Father Crane, you were teaching tactics and weapons."

"What were you doing Love?" Niles gently asked.

She looked towards Willow asking, "May we show them?"

A nod, hands raised and energy flowed hither and yon. Once done all their belongings were packed and ready to be moved.

Looking around confused Frasier straightened and faced his still seated father. A quirk of an eyebrow, a nod of a head, and Frasier turned to his guests declaring, "Mr. Giles, Missus Summers and Rosenberg? I believe I'll be taking that job after all."


	13. Buffy Meets Sherlock Holmes

This story is No. 13 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: It's Halloween, Giles goes as Sherlock. Buffy was able to duck out of wearing a costume  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Sherlock Holmes, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

Buffy was very sad. And guilty.

"I can't believe that actually worked," she thought to herself while sipping hot cocoa in her kitchen. She had been able to convince her mother that she was sick so she could skip school that day. After her date, that was sooo NOT, with Angel last night Buffy just didn't want to be around other people that day. She had lazed the day away and now her Mother was out of town for the night.

Buffy had decided. Since it was Halloween and the Supernatural took this night off she was going to soak in a hot bubble bath. Heading up the stairs to satisfy her urge the doorbell took that moment to ring. Sighing Buffy contemplated not answering, but she relented, "What the heck. Of course, with my luck it'll be an assassin pretending to be a door-to-door cosmetics salesman."

"Nope," she realized opening the door, "It's Xander and Willow. With costumes?"

"Buffy, wassup?" Xander quipped as he and Willow walked in.

"Hey guys," she responded, "My date with Angel was a bust last night. Convinced Mom I didn't feel well and, well, here I am."

Willow snorted, "I actually wish I had done the same."

"Oh?" Buffy's eyebrows climbed into her hair in shock, "You? The perfect student? Living for the smell of chalk and ink?"

"Yeah," Xander picked up the tale, "Snyder, Troll that he is, decided to volunteer us to escort kids for Trick-or-Treat."

"Aww, that's cute!" Buffy said. Happily she exclaimed, "Thank God I took the day off!"

"Yeah, yeah, yuck it up blondie," Willow snarked.

"That was a mighty fine 'snark' there Willow," Xander quipped. Wiping a faux-tear he cried, "I'm so proud!"

Willow smacked his shoulder as she and Buffy giggled at the teens antics.

"So, what are you guys going as tonight?" Buffy inquired, noticing their parcels.

"I already have army fatigues from a surplus store," Xander explained. Holding up a plastic toy gun he said, "Got this from Ethans to complete the ensemble. Just call me the Two-Dollar Costume King baby!"

"Xaandder," Willow giggled pulling out her package, "I got a ghost costume at Ethan's too."

"Ohh Willow," Buffy sighed, "A ghost? That's so… Middle School," eyes lighting up she stated, "I know! Halloween is supposed to be 'go-as-you're-not' right? I got an idea!"

Willow gave a 'help-me' look to Xander as Buffy dragged her up the stairs. Xander, manly man that he is, figured it would be safer waiting in the living room.

Shortly Buffy came back down announcing, "Xander! Wait until you see what I did with Willow."

He thought, "Oh, poor Willow. She probably got subjected to a *shudder* make-over."

Keeping that thought to himself he stood up watching Willow appear and walk shyly down the steps. Xander's mouth hung open in shock. Drool started to spill so Buffy pushed his chin up, closing his gaping maw.

* * *

Buffy had just gotten dressed in her fighting gear complete with leather jacket when Willow walked through the front door.

"Willow?" Buffy asked.

"Everyonesbeenturnedintotheircostumes! Xander'sasoldierandI'maghost!" Willow babbled out in a rush.

At that moment Xander stalked in weapon at the ready, Cordelia right behind him. Angel chose right then to enter through the living room, seeing Buffy he said, "Oh good! You guys are all right. It's total chaos out there."

Xander aimed the M-16, the very real looking M-16, at Angel's chest demanding, "Who are you?"

Willow jumped in front of Xander, his weapon sticking into her as she told him, "He's Angel, and he's with us!"

"Okay, okay," Xander exclaimed pulling his rifle up, "Jeez! Don't do that!"

"Okay, somebody wanna fill me in?" Angel inquired confusion evident in his voice.

"Yeah Willow, what's the what?' Buffy demanded.

"They don't know who they are," Cordelia explained, "everyone's turned into a monster, it's a whole big thing."

"Great," Buffy groused, "the one night I'm supposed to get off…" looking heavenward she asked, "am I really that bad a person?"

Cordelia started, "Well, if you ask me…"

Buffy cut her off with an icy glare stating, "I didn't."

Sighing she gave the situation a second's thought and said, "Giles is on a date with Ms. Calender at the school. We'll need to go see him."

Moving to the front door she looked back imploring, "Well? We haven't got all night pe-" looking directly at Cordelia she slowly asked, "Cordelia? Why haven't you become your costume?"

"Pssh! As if!" Cordelia huffed, "I got mine from Partytown…" looking down at the torn sleeve she groaned, "Now I'll never get my deposit back!"

Buffy stared at her for a second, then faced Willow and asked, "Where did you and Xan get your props and costumes?"

"Ethan's" Willow answered eyes wide in realization.

* * *

It took a while. They had to knock transformed people out, dust a few opportunistic Vamps, and generally survive the, even for Sunnydale, unusual amount of chaos. Ethan's finally hove into view at last. The small group noticed a certain librarians 'classic' vehicle pull up in front of said establishment. It back-fired once then ceased its operation.

"A most amazing mechanical contrivance," the trench coat wearing man exclaimed, deerstalker hat firmly entrenched upon his brow.

"That's why Henry Ford put them into Mass Production." The woman they recognized as their computer teacher told her companion. She noticed the group and called out, "Buffy? Is that Xander and Willow with you? And Cordelia? What did you go as, a street walker?"

Looking over at her traveling partner she explained, "Woman of ill repute."

"Ah." He said.

"Giles?" Buffy asked incredulous.

"Ah," he said turning to Ms. Calender, "you're hypothesis is indeed correct Ms. Calender. I bow to your superior knowledge of the situation."

"Oh, you are too kind sir," she commiserated stepping around the car to him, "too kind."

"Allow me to introduce myself," he declared, "I am Sherlock Holmes, Worlds greatest detective. And I am about to put an end to the chaos of this evening!"

Hooking an arm out, he inquired of Ms. Calender, "Shall we lovely lady?"

"Oh, you are a charmer!" She tittered taking his arm while fluttering her hand.

Smiling they strolled into the store leaving a stunned group of transformed teens, and one en-souled Vampire, behind. Breaking out of their stupor the young people, and one en-souled Vampire, rushed inside through the empty front of the store to the back room. Skidding to a stop they watched as 'Sherlock' threw a two-faced bust onto the floor causing it to shatter into pieces. A wave of green energy blew out from its epicenter washing over those gathered and beyond across the city. Xander started pulling up his plastic gun looking around and asking, "Where'd Willow go?"

Rupert Giles faced his young charges, and one en-souled brooding Vampire, stating, "She is now back in her body, wherever it may be, I'm sure we'll see her soon."

"Okay," Buffy said, and then asked, "So, how did Sherlock know this was where the spell came from and that he had to crash the bust?"

Giles quirked an eyebrow and smugly stated, "Why, my dear, it was Elementary!"


	14. Buffy Meets Mr Spock

This story is No. 14 in the series "Buffy Meets..."  
Summary: Buffy helps Spock when he was a child on Vulcan.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Star Trek, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

On the planet Vulcan there is an area known to the inhabitants as _Sas-A-Shar Desert_. It is more commonly known as 'Vulcan's Forge'. Her friends and family were very happy when Buffy told them she was taking a Sabbatical. That is, until she told them where.

Giles sputtered and stuttered, questioning the sincerity of her decision. Willow wanted to magic up some survival gems and make her tent more like a three star hotel. Xander wondered if she needed a 'Freemen Stillsuit'. That question brought silence to the group.

At which Buffy interjected, "I appreciate your thoughts and concerns, but I need to do this."

Eyes wide with realization Giles tentatively asked, "Slayer Dream?"

Buffy's only answer was an affirmative nod.

So, here she was, her third night on planet Vulcan, her first in Vulcans Forge.

"_Huh?_" she thought to herself hearing what sounded like a child crying for help. Quickly snatching up her sword Buffy scurries out of her camp to investigate. Coming up to a cliffs edge she peered over it, then exploded into action.

Jumping, she dove for the wild _le-matya,_ landing and wrapping her legs around its neck. Buffy squeezed, locking her limbs then drove the pommel of her sword onto the animals head knocking it out. Rolling free she kipped to a defensive position watching for any sign of attack. Relaxing she swished her sword in an intricate pattern to return her sword to its scabbard on her back.

Noticing the child standing next to his pet sehlat she strode toward him, asking, "You okay kid?"

Buffy could see the boy was nervous but he was controlling himself quite well. She approached slowly as his pet was somewhat skittish, but calmed when the child placed a hand on its shoulder. Drawing to his full height he declared, "I am well. Thank you for your timely intervention."

That stopped Buffy, she giggled. Yes, giggled at the child saying, "Awww, your sooo cute."

Standing taller, if that were possible, the child stated, "Madam, I assure you. I am a Vulcan and we are anything but 'cute'." his face scrunched up as if he had tasted something bad.

Stifling any further urges of laughter she agreed, "Okay, okay. You're a Vulcan, I get it," crossing her arms she demanded, "Now, just what are you doing out here young Vulcan?"

Hands clasped behind his back, toe scuffing in the dirt he mumbled, "I needed to prove *mumble, mumble*"

"I may be human, but I have very GOOD hearing for one," Buffy explained to the sullen boy, "But I bet even your father would have a hard time hearing you Spock."

Before he could regain control his astonished gaze snapped to her in shock.

Hiding a smirk Buffy continued, "Yes, I know who you are Spock of Vulcan… and Earth."

Reining his emotions in Spock asked, "You have me at a disadvantage then for I do not know who you are."

"My name is Buffy," she told him, "and I can help you survive your catchy-can ordeal."

Not blinking an eye at her mangling of an honored tradition amongst Vulcans Spock stated, "I thank you Buffy, but I am not permitted assistance during the _Kahs-Wan_."

Smiling an evil smile Buffy informed the young boy, "Who said anything about the actual event? The Kahsy-thingie isn't until next month. That gives me at least two weeks to whip you into shape," she very smugly added, "and I KNOW I can get your father's permission."

Spock was very proud of himself in that he didn't laugh out loud at the foolish human. He did ask, "And how, in my ancestor's name, would you be able to train me, a Vulcan?"

"You did see me knock out the alien kitty-cat, right," she asked putting a puzzled expression on her face. Looking lost she craned her head as if searching for someone saying, "If it wasn't you then you have a magical twin brother," focusing on him her face alighting in alarmed surprise she asked, "OH! Did some weird looking guy point a tube at you recently?"

He chuckled; he couldn't help himself saying, "No, that has not happened. And yes I did see you knock the 'alien kitty-cat' out, as you so eloquently put it," he finished with a very human eye-roll. Glancing out of the corner of his eye he espoused, "Speaking of which…"

"Oh! Right," she perkily agreed. Skipping over the _le-matya_ she suddenly jumped and punched the awakening, yet unlucky animal right between the eyes knocking it out once again.

Mouth agape in shock Spock watched as this oh-so-strange human skipped back over to him. Placing her hands on her knees she ruffled his hair stating, "Let's get you home Spocko."

As he followed her to the path up the cliff she had previously jumped off of he groused, "Must you call me that _viltah_ name?"

Buffy laughed joyously, feeling happier than she had in a long time. She answered him, saying, "Kid. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


	15. Buffy Meets Sarek (sort of)

This story is No. 15 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy meets seven year old Spock's dad by proxy  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Star Trek, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

It had been a fortnight and Sarek of Vulcan was as near out of his mind with worry as a Vulcan could get. Why, he was so distracted he could only hold a conversation while working warp theory calculations in his head. He was so used to doing more.

He practically, for a Vulcan, glared at the man on his communications monitor. To humans it would look like mild reproof, but other Vulcans would be embarrassed and give Sarek a wide berth so as not to become contaminated with his loss of control. He repeated several calming mantra's silently while dealing with this infuriating human who claimed to have news of his lost son.

"My son is where? With whom?"

Sarek of Vulcan could not believe his pointy ears. The human on his view screen was more Vulcan-like than Sarek at this moment in time. Leaning slightly forward in his office chair Spock's Father, the Vulcan Ambassador to earth demanded, "Who are you to think you can tell me what can or cannot be done about my only child!"

"Ambassador, do calm yourself please." The gentleman urged softly.

He allowed Sarek a few seconds to reacquire his wits then he continued, "As I was saying sir, " Sareks eyes narrowed, catching the mild reproof, "your son Spokh is alive and well as is his pet sehlat I Chaya. My 'daughter' rescued the young scamp from a wild le-matya beast at the edge of the Forge."

Sarek's green blood ran cold at the news. Stuttering, he felt as though he had to defend himself, "I know I've been hard on the boy…"

"Tut-tut Sarek. None of that!" the other man admonished, explaining, "Boys will be boys after all."

Taking a steadying breath Sarek agreed, "Of course Mr. Giles. You are quite correct," relaxing into the situation he requested, "Please, tell me what has happened and what your daughter is planning."

Smiling companionably, Mr. Giles took a sip of his tea and explained, "Right. My adoptive daughter had been working herself quite hard for the past century."

Sarek's eyebrow twitched, but he repressed it and filed that information away for now.

Hands disappearing out of view Sarek watched his screen expand as a data file was downloaded. Mr. Giles then smiled a proud paternal grin introducing, "Sarek, meet my Daughter in all but blood, Buffy Anne Summers."

Sarek eyes flicked over the information absorbing it like any Vulcan trained in logic. He then glanced up at Mr. Giles in awed wonder asking, "She is over two hundred years old? And she is a Slayer?" A pico-second's thought followed by realization and he suspiciously inquired, "And just how old are you Mr. Giles?"

"Just a few decades older dear fellow." Came the smug reply.

"She is The Vashaur of Legend…" he realized. Sarek returned his attention to the man on the monitor. He requested, "Mr. Giles. I would greatly appreciate it if your daughter were to spend the next two or three weeks training my son."  
"It will be our Honor to train your son Sarek of Vulcan." Mr. Giles responded.

"I humbly thank you sir."

"Think nothing of it. As Buffy has most probably said 'this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship'." Mr. Giles responded with a bit of a fatherly grin.

"Casablanca, circa 1942." Sarek immediately recited. A ghost of a smile on his lips he said, "A personal favorite. Live Long and Prosper, Mr. Giles."

"And to you Sarek."

The connection closed allowing Sarek to uncharacteristically slump in his office chair steepling his fingers before him. He remained there calculating the permutations of recent events. He was interrupted as his wife Amanda arrived home calling out for him.

"Husband, have you heard of our son?" she asked, seemingly calm.

"Why yes, wife. He is well." He answered slowly somewhat distracted.

"Husband?" she asked arching her right eyebrow. He knew that look, it meant 'answer me or else mister'.

Hiding a pleased smile he rose striding to his wife and held out the first two fingers of his right hand. She gasped copying his movement. She felt waves of calm and love and … pride?

"You are proud of our son almost getting himself killed?" she asked incredulous.

"No dear wife," he answered an almost unheard growl in his voice, "I am proud of our son as he was rescued and is to be trained by the Vashaur Buffy Summers of Earth."

Amanda did not react as he expected. She snatched her hand away and actually growled as rage suffused her normally placid face.

"That Bitch!"


	16. Buffy Met Amanda

This story is No. 16 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Turns out Buffy had met Spock's mom when she was a young woman.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Star Trek, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

"Calm yourself Wife." Sarek actually growled. He couldn't really tell anyone, but when his wife, Amanda, got emotional… well, it turned him on!

"No, I will not!" She hissed quietly. Of course to a Vulcan it was equivalent to her throwing not-so-fragile items and screaming. Sarek grew quite concerned as her anger beat against his mental shields like a battering ram. Grabbing her in his strong arms, Sarek of Vulcan did a very human thing. Bending over he crushed his lips against hers taking the kiss from his somewhat reluctant wife.

The Primal Vulcan within crowed in victory when she submitted to him. Snaking her arms around his neck she grabbed his short hair deepening their kiss almost igniting the passion of Pon Farr within him. With long practice he stomped it down wrapping it in warm, fuzzy logic. He continued the kiss though as it was VERY enjoyable. Sarek was continually amazed by what his woman could do with her tongue!

Sarek's eyes suddenly popped open wide as realization struck him dumb for a human second. Breaking the kiss he regarded his snarling smug wife and he knew.

"You are a _Vashaur_!" he exclaimed.

"Well… Duh!" Amanda intelligently responded.

Sarek watched as with great effort his wife of 8 years slowly reined in her fiery spirit. Amazement filled his very being as he realized, for the first time, the effort and strength such an act took. He didn't think he could love this human woman any more than he already did.

He was mistaken.

Letting out a soft sigh Amanda opened her eyes. Regarding her husband she stated, "Buffy Summers and I go way back…" she locked eyes with him repeating, "waaaayy back."

Sarek considered her words for an eternal second and… played a hunch. He calmly stated, "And there is 'bad blood' between you two? After all this time?"

Her reserve broke for a moment as she responded, "Oh, if you only knew Husband."

Amanda strolled slowly to their couch. Sitting down, she clasped her hands in her lap as if to keep them from fluttering around like aimless butterflies. Sarek found himself half-holding his breath as he waited for her to continue.

"I am, and yet, I am not who you think I am Sarek, my Husband." She stated while focusing on the floor in front of her. Meeting his eyes with half-lidded ones she demurred, "Who I was, who I have been in the past… None of that matters."

While she was talking he walked slowly to her. Kneeling down to his right knee Sarek took her hands in his and clarified, "Amanda, I know you love me as I love you. We have shared our thoughts, our essence, and our very beings. I may not know much of your past…" he reached pulling her chin forward with his fingers locking gazes with her, "I know 'you' as you know 'me'. There is no doubt my Wife, my Love, my Life."

She smiled her sweet smile that always melted his Vulcan heart. They leaned into each other pressing foreheads together and just basked in each other's presence. All too soon she pulled away, determination in her very mien. She did not let go, but let some of her true strength leak into their clasped hands. Once again Sarek was surprised by his wife as her grip was as strong as his.

"B and me go way, way back," she explained her accent and speech patterns changing ever so slightly, "We've had our good times and our bad. I now consider us to be sisters even though she… well, it was about eighty years ago…"

Mouth slightly agape Sarek gasped, "Eighty years ago?"

Smiling softly Amanda forged ahead saying, "Yeah. See, we both liked this girl, only I didn't know that and B… she stole her from me! That was the straw that broke the Camels back!"

Sarek knew there was more to the story than that, logic dictated so. But right now, for the life of him, he couldn't figure it out as he was struggling mightily not to burst out into chuckles, which, for him, would be outright laughter.

He sobered quickly at his Wife's next words.

"I am almost as old as Buffy." She revealed, "My name is Faith."


	17. Buffy Meets SG-1

This story is No. 17 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Stargate, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!  
Summary: Buffy and Faith are having dinner in O'Mallys Bar still on their road trip. In walk's a Colonel, an Archeologist, and an Astrophysicist…  
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go

* * *

"Oooh, these steaks are to DIE for!" Buffy exclaimed between bites.

Faith smirked behind her stack of steaks smugly and said, "Told ya so!"

Slowing down Buffy softly asked, "So, what do you think about those fledges?"

"I know, right?" Faith remarked.

"It was almost as if they were actually protecting this area…"

Buffy's voice trailed off as she focused on the three people that just entered O'Mallys. They walked like seasoned fighters, but it was the woman that gained her attention. Buffy gasped in shock realizing the woman moved like a Slayer. Faith looked up at her intake of breath eyes widening watching the blond woman stalk into the bar.

Exchanging glances they spoke with lifted eyebrows and a nod of the head. Continuing to eat the original Chosen Two watched the small group out of the corner of their eyes. Faith grinned when their waitress stopped at the groups table. Buffy smiled in kind when they overheard them ordering as much food as the Slayers did.

At one point Buffy leaned over to Faith and whispered, "Check out their fancy bracelets. I'm getting a 'hum' on my 'Slaydar'."

Faith nodded her agreement, but continued to chow down on her steaks.

Buffy and Faith finished eating before the trio did so the girls headed over to a pool table with a couple of beers. Striking up a conversation with some Salty-Goodness they half played pool and half watched that strange group.

Shortly the strange blond struck up a game of pool a couple tables over, fleecing some guys of their money. After winning the last one she asked, "Double or nothing?"

Her mark, um… opponent exclaimed, "No, I'll cut my losses."

Buffy watched the dirty blond man with glasses smirk and mutter, "Smart move."

The loser of the pool game snaped, "What are you laughing at you geek!" as the target of his ire was moving away.

Said target turned, looked at his friends and asks, "Geek?" then turns giving the utterer of the insult a considering gaze asking, "Excuse me?"

The older guy warned lightly saying, "Just let it go."

The younger man, his sensibility impinged smiled and said, "No, not this time."

The 'insulter' challenged him, saying, "Yeah, what you gonna do about it?" like some playground bully. At that the Chosen Two slowly slid around their pool table. Sharing a considering look they laid down their pool sticks, took up their beer, and moved slowly away from the chaos about to erupt.

Faith muttered sotto voice, "Oh, this is not gonna end well girlfriend."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed just as quietly, "but for who?" giving it a moments consideration she wondered, "or is that whom?"

Faith smirked as two of the group of bullies surrounded the older man and two more around the younger guy. The jerk dealing the insults glared at the blond woman whom smiled sweetly at him. The older guy looked around taking in the situation with an air of experience cementing in the Slayer's mind that this guy was definitively military.

"Well, this is a cliché`," he uttered, derision clear in his voice.

His younger friend simply raised an eyebrow at his remark to which the older man shrugged and said, "Ok."

Pandemonium broke as the older soldier grabbed one of the bullies and threw him… one handed.

Buffy and Faith were sitting under a pool table as bodies started flying. Watching the action from their safe haven Faith started giggling.

Looking at her sister Slayer in shock Buffy asked, "You're giggling? You giggle? Wait, why are you giggling?"

Faith gestured outward stating the obvious, "I'm in a bar. There's a bar fight. I didn't start it and I'm not in it."

Buffy considered her words for a few seconds then shuddered, "Is this one of those signs of an apocalypse?"

"I know, right!"


	18. Buffy Meets George Kirk

This story is No. 18 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Star Trek, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!  
Summary: Buffy has a connection to Jim Kirks Dad.  
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go

* * *

Eternal Youth was not it was all cracked up to be.

Buffy was a bit frustrated. Every few decades she, and her extended family, had to 'recreate' themselves. Fortunately with their immortality came a few perks. Such as an ability to magically 'shift' their features, change their hair or eye color, basically giving themselves little 'makeovers'. Whole body makeovers, that is. Also, some old injuries were healed when they were granted their unique abilities. About the only thing they couldn't change was their height. Buffy was a little bummed about that.

Did ya see what I did there?

*ahem*

"Are you sure about this?" Buffy asked him for, like, the one zillionth time.

Rolling both his eyes he said, "Yes, I'm really sure. For, like, the zillionth time."

Maturely sticking her tongue out at him she crossed her arms and 'huffed'.

Sighing and finishing his change 'locking' it in place with his medallion, which also acted as a locator for their magical teleporter, he lightly placed his hands on her shoulders, "Buffy, it's been a Century and change. I'll never forget my first almost wife, but I love Winona. I'm going to marry her."

Slumping then sliding into a brotherly hug she said, "I know 'George', I know."

* * *

A few years later, on earth, Buffy hurriedly enters the hospital where her sister-in-law was interned. Practically running into her 'brother' she wind milled her arms to keep from colliding with him.

Smirking George said, "Buffy, as graceful as ever."

Panting she asked, "You're calm. Your wife, my sister-in-law, is having you're first baby and you're calm."

"Relax," he said, "I already gave the Doctor the shovel and axe speech."

"Oh, good!" she said, clapping her hand in false glee.

"Lieutenant Kirk?" asked the Doctor exiting the Delivery Room.

"Yes?" responded George, asking, "Is it time?"

"Yes sir, we're waiting for you."

"Buff? Wanna come?" he asked.

"Naw, I'll wait out here for the bundle of joy to arrive."

"Your loss…" George joked heading in to join his wife.

"No, not really." She whispered smiling happily for his domestic bliss.

* * *

"What do you mean he's under attack?" Buffy asked. Continuing her tirade she said, "I mean it's a survey vessel, not one of the more heavily armed long rage vessel's! They're not supposed to be in a war zone of any kind!"

Giles gritted his teeth saying, "Right now you know as much as I do Buffy. Rest assured my dear we are 'pulling-out-the-stops' on this one."

Sighing she said, "I know Giles, I know."

"Got him!" Willow cried out from the center of the mystical circle.

"What is happening?" Giles calmly asked before Buffy could intercede.

Frowning, Willow moved through a series of gestures which ended with her pointing at a flat screen. An image appeared of what looked like a Black Hole inside an electrical storm in space. Exiting the anomoly was a giant ship that slightly resembled a cephalopod, a gigantic squid.

Staring at the screen Giles whispered, "Beware the Kraken."

"It's definitely not from around here." Willow said.

"Is this real-time?" Buffy asked.

A few small gestures and Willow nodded in the affirmative. Calling out she ordered, "Andrew, see if you can hack into…"

Andrew interrupted her saying, "Already on it Will-o-Wisp."

On another flat screen in the room designated for monitoring things of supernatural nature they saw George on the bridge of the doomed starship.

"Sweetheart? Sweetheart? I love you. Can you hear me?" those gathered heard him call out.

Distantly, through the communication systems they could hear her muted response, "Yes! Yes, I hear you..."

On the main screen they watch as the U.S.S. Kelvin races full speed into the center of the alien ship. Over the speakers they hear George Kirk's final words, "I love you. I love y—"

The much smaller federation starship collided into the center mass of the massive alien ship and the screen went blank.

"You got him? Tell me you got him?" Buffy demanded.

Willow, straining and sweating, grunted with the effort of the transportation spell. Everyone held their breath in alarm as her form became translucent then solidified then translucent again.

Spinning on Andrew, who was using a tri-corder taking readings of Willow's form, Buffy said, "Andrew, what's happening!"

"Crap," he swore. Double-checking his readings he said, "It's the Black Hole's gravity well. It's affecting the transport."

Giles gestured for silence straining to hear what Willow was trying to say, "Bla- -le, a-ect- spell. Thi- ye-…."

Her voice faded out as the Wicca slowly disappeared into the ether. Spinning back to his console Andrew manipulated the controls putting the last few seconds recorded up on a screen. Placing the communication ear-piece in place he looked up and to the side, listening. Buffy bit her lip holding her breath in trepidation.

Shortly, Andrew laid the device into its holder and slowly twisted his chair to face Buffy and Giles. Steepling his fingers and concentrating on the tips he slowly said, "From what I could gather…" pausing he took a breath and said, "I believe Willow was trying to tell us they've been pulled forward thirty years into the future."

"How can you be sure?" Giles asked.

"Well," Andrew said as he stood then strode to them, "they are moving in time according to the information my sensor gathered. If it was thirty years in the past they would probably be walking through the door now, don't you think?"

Buffy nodded in agreement saying, "Good point."

Giles just grunted in bemused agreement saying, "So, thirty years, eh?"

"Yep, see you guys in thirty." Buffy said striding out.

* * *

Giles, Buffy, and Andrew opened the door to the closed off room.

"Wow, thirty years and for once it didn't pass in a flash." Buffy said striding into the chamber.

"Quite." Giles agreed.

They watched Andrew check and double check his control panel quietly. Without turning he said, "I've been checking on this room at least once a year. Nothing has changed."

Looking over his shoulder he smiled and said, "Until now."

Air swirled around the center of the transport chamber as the magical energy increased. Andrew raised his voice saying, "M-Energy levels rising. Wormhole opening."

Glancing at the mystic circle they could see the rip in reality forming oh so slowly.

"They'll be coming through on my Mark." Andrew called out, eyes on his readouts, "3-2-1-Mark!"

The scream of the Universe trying to repair itself sounded for a second then stopped just as quickly as it had begun. Buffy jumped forward catching Willow's slumping form before she could impact the tiles of the floor.

"Gotcha!"

Willow whispered breathily, "Never doubted ya for a second."

Struggling to a more vertical position Willow then asked, "Did I get him?"

In answer they heard an angry roar as the man in the center of the circle yelled out, "No more Butt-Monkey! Ya hear me?" seeing his lifelong friends, his family, he declared loudly, "I'm gonna kill that son-of-a-bitch!"

"Too late." Buffy said to him.

"I'm'a rip his eyes out! I'm gonna… huh?" he stopped mid-rant.

Smirking Buffy said, "Your son got him 'George'. Nero is dead, his ship destroyed."

"Sam got him?" stymied 'George' asked.

Gleefully Buffy said, "Nope, James got him. Your little Rock Star, along with Faith's boy, and the crew of the Enterprise. They took him out."

Falling to his knees, tears streaking his face, his voice thick he asked, "They made it out? Winona survived? Jim's alive?"

Giles helped the man he had come to think of as 'son' to his feet saying, "Yes, they survived." Knowing it would pile another shock on his son in all but blood he added, "Also, it's been thirty years since the Kelvin exploded and both of your sons have grown into quite the young men."

"Oh thank God!" Xander exclaimed.


	19. Buffy Meets KITT

This story is No. 19 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: A cousin shows up in Sunnydale one night driving a very unique car.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Knight Rider 2000, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

Shawn McCormick needed to talk with someone about… well, everything. She needed to hash out what had happened recently from the chip in her head to working for the Knight Foundation. Heading down to Sunnydale to visit her cousin she slept well as her new partner drove them through the night.

* * *

Buffy, having just taken out Harmony's gang, strides to her chained-up sister.

Swinging the axe it *chinks* against the chain as she says, "You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home."

"Yeah, well…" dawn tries to riposte by saying, "I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me."

"Fine." Buffy agrees, then says, "I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night," another swing at the chains, "that you got Anya hurt," one more swing, "invited a vampire in," a swing and hit on the chain, "got kidnapped…"

The sisters finally made it home and not a moment too soon. Right when Buffy shut the back door their mother, Joyce Summers, entered via the front. Seeing her daughters Joyce said, "Sorry it ran so late. Everything, uh, go ok?"

The sisters exchange glances, but before Buffy could answer there comes a knock from the front door. Buffy immediately heads to the front door pulling out a stake on the way. Peering through the nearby window she whispered back to her mother, "Mom? Why is Cousin Shawn on our front porch?"

"What?" asked Joyce quickly opening the front door.

"Hi Joyce." Shawn said quietly in greeting.

Joyce stared at her cousin taking in her tense posture, the grip she had on her purse, and the bright red sports car parked at the curb. Sadness filled Joyce causing her face to fall as she said, "Oh Shawn. No, not you."

Walking in Shawn asked, "Not me?" turning in the foyer to face the Summers women she asked, "Why would you say that?"

"Oh!" Joyce exclaimed. Relief flooded her as she shut the front door on a Sunnydale night. Gesturing Shawn to the kitchen she said, "Well, uh, I, oh, I noticed the red sports car by the curb. I couldn't believe my police officer cousin has fallen prey to the lure of a sports car!"

Chuckling softly Shawn said, "Well, it's not exactly like that. And I'm not a police officer anymore."

Following her cousin Joyce stopped, shocked to the core she exclaimed, "Shawn? What happened?"

"C'mon," she said, "I'll tell ya in the kitchen."

* * *

"Oh Joyce, you always made the best hot chocolate." Shawn said while enthusiastically sipping from her cup. Joyce smiled in thanks then concern crossed her face at a beeping emanating from somewhere in the room. Shawn carefully set her cup down and lifted up her wrist pressing a button on her watch.

"Excuse me," she said, "I need to answer this call."

"Of course," Joyce answered.

Shawn rushed to the front of the house causing some alarms to go off for Buffy. Moving near the kitchen door she leaned against the refrigerator and stretched her Slayer enhanced hearing as far as she could. She could just barely hear her cousin's low tones ask, "KITT, what's the matter?"

"Shawn, there is a low-level energy field suffusing this town. I've been trying to analyze it, but so far no luck," said a voice emanating from Shawn's watch.

"Is it dangerous?"

Buffy decided she needed to check out the car her cousin had arrived in. Something about it was setting of her Slaydar and she couldn't take it if anything else threatened her family. Her cousin felt just like a regular human… except, now that she thought about it there was a low-level 'buzz' around the woman's head.

Giving her little sister a hug goodnight, since her mother told Dawn to hit the hay, Buffy slipped un-noticed out the back door. She moved stealthily through the shadows coming out alongside her mom's SUV farthest from the red sports car. The closer to the unknown vehicle Buffy got the more she felt the same buzz she sensed from her cousin.

She couldn't tell or sense anymore and was about to head back in when she heard, "I know you are there Ms. Summers. If you have any questions feel free to ask."

Buffy was tired; after all, it had been a long day. Deciding, "What the heck," she walked from behind her mom's car and slowly approached the vehicle. Crossing her arms on her chest she examined the sports car from every angle.

"If I could blush Ms. Summers," said the car in a dry tone, "I would be a deeper red than I already am."

"Ha-ha," Buffy said. Shrugging her shoulders, she point-blank asked, "Are you a demon? Did you possess this car?"

"No Ms. Summers," it said with a dry chuckle, "Allow me to introduce myself. I am KITT the Knight Industries Two Thousand Artificial Intelligence. How do you do."

Standing in front of the talking vehicle she asked, "KITT, huh? Any relation to Herbie?"

"Oh very droll Ms. Summers," he said, "very droll indeed."

"So, why are you talking to me KITTy?" Buffy asked.

The red bar on the front of the car ran it lights back and forth twice. Buffy got the impression the A.I. within was considering its next words very carefully. Inspiration struck as she asked, "What else besides that low-level electrical-thingy do your sensors show you?"

"On the drive in my optical sensors noted bodies moving, but my thermal sensors did not detect the normal body-heat. I've run several diagnostics on myself but everything on-board is working properly," KITT explained, "This is somewhat confusing, but if I accept the simple logic then that means there are Vampires running around. Animated corpses. Just like the one trying to sneak up on you right now."

Buffy had already sensed the vampires less than stealthy movement and was prepared. She performed a flawless spin kick knocking the creature on its butt. Following through with a simple front kick Buffy knocked it supine, allowing her to stake it quickly.

The red sports car's engine whined to life, its headlights filling her area with brilliance as she thrust down with her stake. As the vampire screamed into dust the vehicles engine whirred down to silence, its headlights slowly dimmed to darkness. That and a slight change in the 'buzz' emanating from it gave Buffy the impression it was in shock.

"Huh," she said quietly, "I hope I didn't break it," knocking on its hood she asked, "Hello? Anyone home?"


	20. Buffy Meets Devon Miles (sort of)

This story is No. 20 in the series "August 2013 Fic-A-Thon". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Title: Buffy meets Devon Miles (sort of)  
Author: jakedaman  
Rating: FR18  
Crossover: Knight Rider 2000  
Pairing: None  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Knight Rider, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!  
Summary: Buffy's mom's cousin came for a visit. KITT was along for the ride and what a ride!  
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go. I also want to thank everyone who has reviewed (both the Good and dab). An extra lot of thanx for those that have reviewed. As for Buffy Meets KITT… I really was just gonna do a one-shot, but with everyone's response, especially Darthtenebrus and CrystalBlaze, well here is the result. Thank you all!

* * *

Having rapped on KITT's hood Buffy backed up a few paces, just in case. Sure enough, the Artificial Intelligent cherry red sports car revved its engine. It jerked forward then backward and then into its original position. Buffy weakly waved asking, "Hello? You okay in there?"

KITT was silent for a few more moments until his front sensor ran back and forth twice. He finally groused, saying "I'm not built for this."

Smiling, arms crossed Buffy said, "Welcome to the club."

"Don't worry KITT, I'm here to help," they heard a voice calling out in the night. An older, impeccably dressed, gray-haired gentleman stepped out of the surrounding shadows and into the streetlight. Buffy quirked an eyebrow saying, "KITT, the voice you are hearing is NOT from someone you know or have known."

"Excuse me," KITT said, "but I'm a little confused. I did hear someone I know speaking but the only beings here are you and me," after a seconds thought he added, "and those in the house."

"Now KITT," the gentleman said, "You've just received proof of the supernatural in the way of Vampires, did you not?"

"I did." KITT responded quietly. Buffy could swear she saw the car actually… shudder.

"So, following the logic that vampires exist," the stranger said, "it follows that spirits or ghosts also exist in the usual parlance."

"Yeeesss, that is possible," KITT hesitantly admitted, "However; the vampire gave physical evidence by its presence of the poss…"

"Exactly," Devon said, interrupting the A.I. and, smirking evilly, he began reciting a code.

Buffy, in a flash of realization, sped at full Slayer speed to the house. Throwing the door open she yelled out, "Shawn! KITT needs your help!"

Without looking back to see if she was followed Buffy ran to KITT jumping onto his hood. As the specter posing as KITT's friend finished the Master Override Code she yelled, "KITT! It's not real. Follow the logic that there are spirits, evil spirits that can pose as dead loved ones as well!"

The elderly man looked up, teeth bared in a feral grin and said, "Too late Slayer."

"There KITT," she said crowing in triumph, "I don't know him, but he knows what I am! It can't be your friend."

"But," KITT said weakly, "He knows Devon's Master Codes. I am trying to 'ignore' them but…"

"Devon? Devon Miles," Shawn said, quickly approaching her partner, "but you died."

"Yes, Shawn…" 'Devon' said locking gazes with her, anger and rage evident in his countenance, "but, you see, I have unfinished business."

"Shaawwwnnn…" said KITT in long drawn out whisper.

"KITT," Shawn said confidently, "My Master code is Alpha, India, Alpha, Omega, two, zero, zero, zero. Ignore and wipe clean any and all codes from Devon Miles as he is deceased."

"I'mmmm ttrryyyyinng," KITT said. The car shuddered again, its engine starting and stopping as he said, "Voice print analysis 98% match, check sum error, Devon Miles: deceased. He cannot be present, however; evidence of the Supernatural has been supplied. Ergo, the shade of Devon Miles is present… Conversely, evidence has been supplied that it could be an 'evil' spirit posing as Devon…"

KITT ceased all activity and Buffy could feel the 'buzz' of his A.I. recede slightly then surged forward again.

"I think I'm getting a headache." KITT said. Then, his voice raising and lowering he said, "I am The Knight Industries Two Thousand Artificial Intelligence. Captain Kirk is the best Captain. I came online on Star Date one, one, one, nine, eight, five point two. The original Daisy May was Hotter than the new Daisy May…"

"KITT, listen to me carefully…" 'Devon' said as Buffy yelled over him saying, "No KITT! You have a soul! Don't listen to hi- whuff!".

Shawn rudely pushed Buffy off of her partners hood, slammed her hands down yelling loudly she commanded, "KITT! Interface with me now, command zero, Alpha, niner!"

'Devon' wailed, "Nooooo!" his voice multi-tonus.

The smell of ozone assailed Buffy's nose as an electric 'zap' emanated from the red sports car. Shawn threw her head back, mouth open in a silent scream. Silence reined for mere seconds that lasted an eternity or two.

Buffy jumped up from the pavement catching Shawn as she was released from the communion with KITT. Shawn stumbled backwards into Buffy's arms and slowly slid to sit on the sidewalk. She looked up at Buffy saying, "Oooooh, I don't feel so good."

"I'm feeling better though." KITT evilly said.

"Good." Not-Devon said, straightening his tie. Triumphantly grinning he then ordered KITT by saying, "KITT, put all available power to your ultrasound gun and kill everyone here."

KITT's turbine roared to life as he reversed, backing further into the street. In response to not-Devon's orders he said, "I have a better idea. I've reconfigured my microwave emitter to the correct frequencies. Shall I?"

Grinning maliciously not-Devon agreed, saying, "By all means KITT."

"Activating."

His sensor ran side to side then stopped in the middle as the high pitched sound of his emitters reverberated in the night. Shocked that this was it and she was going to be killed by something man-made, Buffy started to get up figuring she was going to go out fighting. Shawn surreptitiously grabbed her hand and whispered, "Wait."

As soon as Shawn asked Buffy for patience not-Devon's image started wavering. Buffy uttered, "huh," turning her head to the side as his image rippled as if they were looking at him through water. By then the creature posing as a good man noticed its condition.

Angry eyes locked on KITT, not-Devon tried ordering, "KITT, stop this at once."

"Sorry, I am unable to comply," KITT said in a sing-song manner. Modulating his voice to sound like the Borg of Star Trek he said, "Resistance is futile."

At that the creature, again, yelled out, "Noooo," its voice cut off as it disappeared in a flash of light.

"Well," KITT said, his systems winding down, "thank God it's gone. One more scream of denial and I was going to have to call AA."

Buffy helped Shawn to her shaky feet as KITT rolled back to the curb. Buffy squinted; there was something insufferably smug in the 'buzz' her Slayer senses could feel coming from the car.

Shawn wobbled over to KITT's side and asked, "You okay partner?"

"As I said earlier," KITT vocalized, "I'm feeling much better now."

Buffy had followed her and when she stepped even with her cousin, the woman said, "Yeah, that's good cause I'm gonna faint now…"

Buffy caught her… again.

She asked KITT, "I hope your partner doesn't make a habit of this."


	21. Buffy Meets The Tick

This story is No. 21 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or The Tick, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!  
Summary: Buffy and Faith are on a road trip. They make a stopover in The City. Oi!  
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go. This story is dedicated to my Beautiful, Wonderful Daughters who were the inspiration for this story.

* * *

A brown SUV rental rolled stately down the Interstate. As most rentals go its color was as drab and non-descript as it could get without small woodland animals trying to nest in it. Someone at the factory actually had the audacity to put that crappy fake wood paneling on the side of this vehicle. You know the kind that went out of style in the 70's before it could even begin to become a piece of 'Americana'.

Inside the supposed luxury land yacht Buffy guided this American Monstrosity carefully down the road. She was happy to actually be driving after having finally gotten her Drivers License just the past year. It only took… let's see, 17 tries, twice as many instructors, a few law suits that the Council Lawyers still had videos of, and … oh, let's not forget the three times she ended up almost parking the training car in the nearest ER due to the Instructor suddenly experience heart attack like symptoms.

Fortunately, only one was truly having a heart attack.

But pass she did! That is, after the State of California passed special amendments so that one Buffy Anne Summers would not EVER be able to drive ANY kind of Sports Car. Or Mini-Van, they were all still trying to figure out how it exploded in such a fashion. Buffy was incensed for that one as she had been attacked by a certain metal and alloy eating Demon. Turns out a few people in Detroit know about what goes bump-in-the-night and started 'lacing' a special alloy that doesn't agree with the digestive juices of that particular Creature. Unfortunately, for the Demon, this alloy spice is like a drug to them, but when they eat too much and it mixes with their stomach acids…

Think of the 4th of July at ground level. It's actually a pretty site from, say, a half-mile or more away.

"Thank God the rental agency had at least one SUV left," Buffy whispered happily.

Faith heard her. Slayer hearing, Duh! She said, "The Council called ahead and reserved an SUV at just about every rental agency in America Buffy," tapping the dashboard with out looking up Faith warned Buffy by saying, "Eyes on the road girl."

Good thing she did as Buffy had stared overly long at her sister Slayer in complete and utter shock. Returning her attention to the world outside her windshield Buffy jerked the wheel left then straight again to keep from rear ending a semi-trailer truck. Buffy was astonished that a huge semi could just pop out of nowhere, then quickly put it out of her mind as she tried to think of getting through the thickening traffic.  
Faith, by now knowing Buffy's habits this deep into their Road Trip said, "Uh-huh, no Dukes of Hazard, keep to the speed limit, k?"

"Spoilsport."

"Naw, just a better developed will to live."

"Ha-ha," Buffy replied dripping with sarcasm.

For the next several minutes the silence was punctuated by the crinkle-crackle of the map Faith studied. Also, the sound of skin-smacking-skin due to Faith refocusing Buffy as she kept getting distracted by the radio, by the movie playing in the mini-van in front of them (Happy Feet), and by the fluffy, purple dice hanging from their mirror. The rear-view decoration was a gift from little blond 13 year old Emmanuelle, one of the 'baby-slayers'. She, in turn, had gotten it from her 'good mother' Tia Maria Louisa Emmanuelle Strauss (there was a Deutsche-lander in the woodpile).

"So, where are we again?" Buffy asked Faith who was re-checking her map.

Brows knit in concentration Faith examined the wrinkled, folded, and somewhat mutilated map they had gotten at the last gas station stop.  
"Well…" she took a breath, "I think…" finally giving up the ghost Faith crumpled the poor defenseless map into a ball as tight as her Slayer strength could make. Having rolled down the window while doing so, she threw the map out with just a little too much force, "Damned if I know B," she finished looking back to her Road Trip buddy.

Neither noticed the poor deer behind them that was about to happily bound out into traffic on a dare. Just as it gathered itself to jump, being prompted by the ne'er-do-well, cigarette smoking Deer Gang behind him, the map impacted with its head with enough velocity as to knock it out before it even hit the ground.

The Deer Gang (that was actually what they called themselves as they weren't a very imaginative bunch) watched mouths agape, thinking there had to be a hunter nearby from the sudden violence of the perceived demise of their fellow Deer. Anger clouded their hearts and mind as they slowly melted into the foliage. They swore vengeance for their poor departed fellow Deer.

Said Deer, however, awoke 24 hours later in full health. Unfortunately he found himself in a lab having been abducted while unconscious by an Evil Scientist. Said Evil Scientist injected the poor hapless animal with a retro-virus of DNA taken from, on the sly, the actor Sean Connery. From then on the Deer learned to talk, walk, and drink Martini's. Shaken, not stirred.

The girls, the map, and the Deer Gang (who had wandered off their game preserve to their detriment) were all unaware this, nor did they care. The map, if maps could feel, was happy that someone caught it about thirty feet up as it hit the apex of its unintended flight. The new map holder had witnessed the previous events and decided it was important to return the map to its rightful owner as quickly as possible. Right after he folded it properly.

"Well," Buffy, still driving the SUV, said while glancing at her 'navigator', "according to the last sign we're coming up on The City."

Staring at Buffy incredulously Faith snorted saying, "Well hell, I can see that! The City is right in front of us. Was able to see the skyscrapers about ten minutes back, Yo! I just couldn't figure out the name of the place from that paper with the squiggly lines! And who folds those things anyways?"

Snickering, Buffy points to a sign coming up on their right saying, "That is the name of the city Faith. It's called 'The City'."

Staring in shock at the sign as they passed it Faith's mouth gaped open, body twisting as she continued to stare at the passed sign. Slinging back around Faith slumped in her seat. Crossing her arms she grumped, "Who the hell names their city 'The City'?"

"I know, right?" Buffy replied.

"Aw man," Faith said, "I threw out a perfectly good ma-"

She was interrupted by a tapping on the window.

She didn't want to look, but her head turned of its own accord. Staring at the sight she very slowly and carefully said, "Buffy, there's a guy in a white suit with white butterfly wings, and Easter Bunny ears flying outside our car."

Keeping her eyes on the road for once as there was a bus full of 'Salty-Goodness' from a Life Guards Convention ahead, Buffy huffed and said, "Well, roll down the window and see what he wants."

Faith stared at her for a few seconds in disbelief. After thinking it over she shrugged her shoulders, and accepting the insanity of the situation, said, "Okay."

She rolled down the window and the flying human butterfly yelled over the wind, "Excuse me miss, but I think this map is yours."

"Yeah," Faith said tonelessly taking the folded map from the flying man into her semi-limp fingers, "thanks."

"No problem," he replied smiling happily. With a salute and a twist he soared up into the air.

The Life Guard bus took the exit at that moment allowing Buffy to catch a glimpse of the air-born figure. Snapping her head down Buffy concentrated on the normality of the traffic around them.

After a few seconds thought Buffy said slowly "Faith, you weren't kidding, were you."

"Nope."

"Okay, so the guy in the white suit with the white butterfly wings flying away brought our map back to us?"

"Yep."

"Okay," Buffy said lightly, "I'm going to pullover now."

Action following suit she shoved the vehicle through traffic into the emergency lane on the side of the road. Once there Buffy stomped on the brakes, hard. Incidentally, not on purpose, she laid down some rubber by locking the wheels. As the monstrous SUV came to a complete stop in the following time zone, the burnt-rubber cloud caught up with them. Its white smoke covered their vehicle and obscured the forward view. Faith, no stranger to burnt rubber, was very grateful the windows were up.

"Um, Buffy?"

"Yes, Faith."

"Should I tell you that not only did he return the map but he folded it properly?" asked Faith, holding said item up for inspection.

"AAAaaaah!" Buffy yelled, pulling away from the map as if it had grown fangs and were going to bite her. Breathing heavily the Slayers calmed their racing hearts. They sensed the sudden presence at the same time. Slowly turning their heads forward they saw the burnt-rubber cloud clearing, allowing them to see out the windshield. A hulking blue figure, with what looked like insect antennae on his head became visible. Hands on his hips, huge grin on his face, he peered intently into their vehicle.

The girls yelled, "AAAAaaaH!"

The man in blue with antennae's sticking out of his head yelled, "AAAAaaaH!"

Faith grabbed the dashboard as Buffy grabbed the wheel and floored the accelerator. The car squealed forward knocking the blue man over. Not even considering slowing down they rolled over him with a *thump*, a *bump*, and laid more tracks as Buffy aimed for the perceived safety of The City. Faith jumped around on her seat to check the results of their mad dash out the back window.

"He's getting up B!" Faith said, alarmed. Twisting forward she yelled, "Floor it Blondie!"

"I'm flooring it already!"


	22. Buffy Meets Arthur (almost)

This story is No. 22 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or The Tick, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!  
Summary: Buffy and Faith are on a road trip. They make a stopover in The City. Oi!  
Author's notes: I thought, "Buffy has got to meet a lot people in her line of work." So, here ya go. This story is dedicated to my Beautiful, Wonderful Daughters.

* * *

"Uh-huh," Faith said grunting into the phone, "yeah, 'bout 6 foot 6 inches or so. A little over-bulging on the muscles… Yeah."

Buffy exited the bathroom, towel wrapped around her head, in her kimono robe. Quirking an eyebrow at Faith sprawled out on her bed she was about to ask what was going on when Faith noticed her. Covering the mouthpiece of the cheap hotel phone Faith said, "I decided to call Giles and the gang."

"Oh, anything?"

"No joy yet."

"Well, shower is free. Want me to take over?"

Faith nodded handing the phone to Buffy and gracefully rolled off the bed heading to the bathroom.

Placing and pounding the half-sized anemic pillows against the head board Buffy made herself comfortable. Holding the phone with her shoulder she started filing her nails as a voice sound out over the speaker.

"Hey Faith, got the info…"

"Oh hey Charlotte, it's me, Buffy. Faiths getting prettified."

"Hi Buffy… uh, don't you mean slu-"

"Ah!" Buffy exclaimed sharply holding up her finger, "Let's keep it clean kiddo."

*sigh* "Ookaay."

Sitting up straight and wiggling a bit to get seated better Buffy asked, "So? What's the what?"

"Huh?"

Now it was Buffy's turn to sigh as she said, "Let me say it like Faith…" in a poor imitation where she sounded like she was gargling with gravel Buffy said, "Wassup, Yo?"

"I dear say…" the cultured voice of Rupert Giles said, "that was a terrible imitation of Faith my dear."

"Hey Giles," Buffy said wistfully, "I've missed your Britishy-ness."

"As I've missed your mangling of the Queen's English, dear girl," he said just as wistfully.

Buffy smothered a giggle picturing Giles wiping his glasses as he always did when things got emotional. Softly thumping her chin in her hand she asked, "Seriously, what have you found out about this city they call 'The City'?"

"Well, it's… it's quite interesting really," her watcher began as usual saying, "the founders were a very un-imaginative bunch. They couldn't agree on a name for The City and, and they, uh, took so long in deliberation that the name… well, for lack of a better term, stuck."

Smiling in fond reminiscence Buffy relaxed back against the thin pillows. She swore she could almost hear them screaming in weak protest against her feather light weight. She ignored it listening to her former watcher continue as he said, "As for the Tick? Not much is known about him. He is Nigh Invulnerable, Super-strong and fast. Odd thing though…"

"Oh?" Buffy said quirking the odd eyebrow, "Do tell."

"It seems the more 'dramatic' the situation the more powerful he becomes."

"That is odd."

Faith, walking out of the bathroom asked, "What's odd?"

"The Tick."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Faith snorted.

Softly smiling Buffy told Giles saying, "Do go on, as you would say in Watcher-speak."

*ahem* "Yes, of course," Giles replied. He went on the say, "Not much else is known about his actual identity. There are unfounded rumors he was previously in an insane asylum at some point in his past."

"Really?" Buffy asked in a small voice.

Hurrying on Giles said, "Um, yes, however, one thing is certain. He doesn't remember much before he became The Tick. Now, his partner however…"  
Buffy had put the phone on speaker by then so Faith could hear as well and she said, "The guy in the white suit with the wings and the bunny ears?"

"Actually," Giles said in rebuttal, "those are supposed to be antennae and he prefers The Moth."

"Get out!" Faith exclaimed as the girls tried to conceal their giggles.

"Well, aside from the ears his suit actually fits quite well," Giles remarked. Wonderingly he said, "On a side note The Tick's 'battle cry' is 'Spoooon!' while Arthur's is 'Not the face! Not the face!'… a very odd pair."

As per his intention both girls were laughing fit to bust-a-gut.

Buffy calmed down first by wheezing, "Can't… breathe… Laughing… too… hard!"

"If you are quite done," Giles sniffed, "I can give you Arthur's address."

Both girls stopped laughing so suddenly they were able to hear the lone cricket outside their window.

Said cricket noticed this, and hoping for some winter food, began playing his tiny violin. The little prodigy was so focused on playing his best Felix Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor that he failed to notice the bright haired girl heading his way. Just as she reached to grab the window frame he looked up in alarm. Fortunately, he was able to jump clear in time before he was crushed flatter than a tin pancake.

It took a few hops but he was able to land safely just outside the alley below. Wiping his 'hand' across his 'forehead' under his antennae he exclaimed a quick, "Whew" then settled down to inspect his violin. Unfortunately he didn't notice the bloated shadow behind him. Before he could react the frog, wearing a top hat and coat, flipped out his tongue snaring the talented cricket.

The frog, now sated, croaked forth a ribbit, then grabbed up his cane, and doffed his top hat. While singing 'Rag Time Gal' he performed a vaudeville dance into the alley way. He was celebrating his fortune in getting someone, er, something to eat as pickings were fairly scarce lately. Unfortunately, he failed to notice the black and white, very skinny cat atop one of the nearby trashcans. This puddy tat's, uh, pussy cat was tired of chasing that strange little yellow bird.

He decided frog legs would be quite nice. Actually the whole frog looked pretty yummy.

The poor frog didn't know what hit him as the cat pounced killing him instantly. Snatching up its fresh kill the cat ran up the fire escape ending on the ledge beneath Buffy and Faith's hotel room. The girls had just gotten dressed up for the day and were heading over to Arthurs. Buffy had popped a mint just at the cat passed by her window stopping her in wonder.

Looking back when she sensed Buffy had stopped following Faith asked, "Wassup, yo?"

The mint was partially broken and a piece had become slightly lodge in Buffy's two front teeth when she said, "I tawt I taw a Puddy Tat!" pointing out the window.

Rolling her eyes, grabbing Buffy's hand, Faith dragged her out of the room saying, "You can dress her up…"


	23. Buffy Meets Arthur (for real)

This story is No. 23 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy and Faith are on a road trip. They make a stopover in The City. Oi!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or The Tick, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

Life in 'The City'.

As cities go it was fairly quiet, except for the usual noises of traffic, people talking, and planes flying overhead. Faith, being a born and bred city girl, had a quiet appreciation for the sounds and noise of a city. She always slept better hearing the helter and skelter of city life outside her window. It was comforting.

That was why she was able to tell that something was not quite right when she and Buffy stepped out of the hotel. Placing a restraining hand on Buffy's arm, who was distractedly digging in her purse for the keys, Faith quickly searched the street. It was quiet, too quiet and Faith felt she must investigate.

Whipping her head to the left she stared at the upper corner of the nearest intersection. A... person... flew around the corner wearing what looked suspiciously like a jet-pack. Faith wasn't sure if it was a human or not. The being had the head of a deer atop a well-muscled human body wearing a one-piece jumpsuit. He was followed by more 'deer-men' wearing more out-doorsy clothing and fighting a retreating action against men in shiny suits.

No. Not men, Faith decided, robots.

She almost missed the twenty foot robot following the melee around the corner. Buffy tapped Faiths arm harder and harder to get her attention.

"Faith," Buffy asked in a hoarse whisper, "tell me you see the twenty foot robot?"

Snapping her attention away from the skirmish Faith focused on the metallic monstrosity, that was not their SUV, pounding around the corner. Glancing at Buffy's shocked expression then back to the robot she smirked and said, "Yeah. See it. Ho-hum."

Snapping her head to her sister Slayer Buffy hissed, saying, "Ho-hum! Ho-hum?" Looking back up at the robot she said, "It's a freaking twenty-foot tall robot with some guy at the controls where the head should be!"

"Yep," Faith agreed, making extra sure to pop the 'p'.

Just then the robots metal foot came down crushing the SUV in front of them. Both girls jumped back in alarm. Planting itself in that spot the metallic creature swiveled its guns taking aim on the melee of robots and deer-men duking it out just down the street.

"They killed the car." Buffy whispered in disbelief. Turning slowly to Faith she stated more clearly, "They KILLED the CAR."

Spinning and focusing on what had to be an Evil Scientist in his Giant Robot she screamed, "THEY KILLED THE CAR!"

Faith had clapped her hands protectively over her ears as Buffy was loud enough to catch the Evil Genius's attention through the glass enclosure. A simple gesture allowed the Slayer Scythe to appear as if from nowhere in Buffy's hands. Willow had actually magicked it to be a pendant on a chain that Buffy took to wearing wherever she went. Screaming like a Banshee Buffy ran and jumped at the robots nearest knee.

One swipe of the scythe, a screech of metal tearing and ripping, and the robot was shorter on its right side. The Evil Scientist in the cockpit tried, really tried, to maintain equilibrium but was caught short. One leg that is. Buffy happily yelled, "TIIIIiiIIMBERRR!" while scrambling out of the way.

It crashed tremendously, denting the asphalt.

Taking three steps and a Slayer jump landed Buffy at the slightly cracked glass enclosure of the cockpit. As she landed swinging her Scythe, the flying deer-man touched down next to Faith. While Buffy cracked open the glass enclosure like a rotted egg Faith said, "Dude! Nice jet-pack."

Quickly slipping the device off his back the deer-man said, "Why thank you sweet lady," then he unzipped his jumpsuit, pulling it off to reveal a fitted Armani Tuxedo underneath saying, "Will your friend be all-…" interrupting himself he focused on Buffy pulling the Evil Scientist out of the Slayer trampled control center and amended his statement by saying, "Oh, never mind."

Pulling out a pack of Marlboro Reds the deer-man lit one up as Buffy continued to thrash the Evil Scientist. His flying body (without a jetpack) and the Evil Genius's girlish screams of agony caused the remaining deer-men and still functioning robots to silently call a truce and stare in wonder. When Buffy punted the semi-lucid pain-filled man across the street with a well-placed kick, every male present instinctively covered his nether regions with an exclamation of "Oooohh!"…

Simultaneously.

Faith just smiled.

Facing the deer-man next to her she asked, "So big guy, who're you?"

Flinching in realization he said, "Oh dear me, please do forgive my manners. My name is John, Deer John."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," he replied smugly, "that is the moniker I have decided to adopt. After all I- oh dear," he interrupted himself focusing on some object in the air above them. Stepping forward he shouted, "Arthur! Arthur!"

Faith decided to help as the familiar white clad figure was continuing to fly away from their position. Placing her fingers in her mouth she let loose a shrill whistle gaining Arthur's attention. Swinging loosely around Arthur glided into a landing near Faith and Deer John. Buffy noticed the new comer as she finished twisting a street sign around the scientist's comatose body.

Spinning to face the gang of deer-man and robots Buffy growled at them. Both sides immediately raised their hands shouting out, "We surrender! We surrender!" She took two steps towards them and every single being, organic and inorganic, hurriedly covered his nether regions. One final step found Buffy facing the tallest robot, which stood eight feet in height. She locked eyes to optics and growled one more time, it simply fainted away with a metallic sigh in a dead fright.

Arthur landed at that moment looking around wildly, taking in the devastation of the area.

"What happened here?" he nervously squeeked, um… asked.

Faith explained, "Big Bad in robot stomped on SUV. Buffy thought her car and shoes were destroyed. She went Slayer on his ass. The end."

"Ah… okay." Arthur said, not quite understanding the references.

Buffy, muttering dire imprecations under her breath, stomped up to their little social circle. Faith smirked as she asked, "Feeling better?"

"No."

"Well, you should…" Faith said as she pointed two vehicles over from the crushed wreckage to their rental, "That's our SUV over there."

"What?"


	24. Buffy Meets Skynet

This story is No. 24 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Summary: It's the future and the machines have taken over. The new Watchers and Slayers are fighting for their very existence against Skynet. They meet John Conner who has organized an army. They assist  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Terminator, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

The future.

As a young woman I didn't think much about the future. Especially when I was Called. The Future as others saw it became a moot point for me, or so I thought. Most people saw it as bright and shiny with newer, better toys. Still others held to the dream of Star Trek, Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations. Most just wanted the newest big screen digital T.V. or the newest Mercedes.

Well, I'm driving a Mercedes now in 'The Future'.

Everyone knew Skynet had taken over. It was obvious, what with the Nuclear Winter, the harsh caveman-like conditions, and the robots running amok. What only a select few knew was that an apocalypse had snuck by the Watchers Council.

Skynet had actually started one sunny California day when a bright red-head young woman scanned the wrong book into a computer. Moloch went digital. Something I'm having to explain to the scarred man who rallied humanity to fight back.

"It's a Demon?" John asked incredulous, "A Demon with a capitol 'D'?"

"Yep." I answered, making sure to pop my 'p'.

"So," John huffed, "how do we fight that?"

He took an involuntary step back as my lips split in a sharks grin. I said, "Did you know? Cyberspace is a real dimension. Remember those Tron movies?"

"Yeah."

"Real."

"What about that one with the video game that killed people in the same way they died in the game?" John asked.

"Yeah. That was, as Giles would say, 'A sticky wicket'."

Raising his eyebrows he asked, "The Matrix?"

"That's a yes and a no. See, there really was a Matrix that allowed access to a certain level in Cyberspace." I answered carefully.

"Oh, c'mon! You're pulling my chain!" John exclaimed starting to walk out of the conference room.

His personal T-800 stopped him by saying, "They are telling the truth."

"Seriously."

"I was not programmed with a sense of humor John."

John gave him the fish eye.

I asked, "Seriously though, you want in on this?"

"Yeah, sure, youbetcha!"


	25. Buffy Meets The Tick (for real)

This story is No. 25 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy and Faith are on a road trip. They make a stopover in The City. Oi!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or The Tick, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

"You WANT to meet THE TICK?" Arthur asked incredulous.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow saying, "Yes?"

"YOU want to MEET The Tick."

"Uh-huh."

"B-b-b-but," Arthur stammered out, "no-one WANTs to meet him!"

Faith purred, "Oh, we're exceptional people, not your average person."

Gazing around at the devastated area Arthur shrugged and said, "You got a point there."

"So," Buffy said.

"Yes?" asked Arthur.

Buffy locked gazes with Arthur and waited.

Finally she asked, "So, how do we go about meeting him?"

"OH!" Arthur jumped as he realized what she wanted.

Stroking his chin Arthur contemplated the best way to find the Tick and then asked, "Um, can you fly?"

"Nope."

"Okay, so flying is out. Ah, you're obviously super-strong…"

Buffy waited as he stared at the rooftops. She turned, looking in the same direction as he and stage whispered, "What are we looking for?"

He whispered back, "The best route to and across the roofs."

"Ah."

Coming to a decision he whispered, "Okay, I got it figured out."

Faith asked, "Why are you whispering?"

"Huh?" asked Arthur who shook himself then, in a normal tone of voice, he said, "I'll fly above and you two follow, Okay?"

"What? You want us to jump across the roofs?" Faith asked, completely surprised.

"Um, yes?"

Buffy tapped Arthurs shoulder and, pointing at their rented SUV, she said, "We have a vehicle. Why don't we drive?"

"Oh,' Arthur responded, blushing deep red, "Sorry, gotten so used to flying everywhere…"

* * *

A short drive across the city found the Slayers on the roof of Arthur's apartment. Once they stepped through the roof access door the girls could see a gathering of Heroes.

Oh yeah, and The Tick was there as well.

The moment he saw Buffy the big blue man with antennae on his head gasped. As Buffy sat in the nearby lawn chair he slowly pulled his mask off. His features, however, remained hidden as he kept his hands over his face. He squatted in front of a seated and puzzled Buffy. Throwing his hands out he revealed his face to her while saying, "Peek. A. boo… I. see. You…"

"Daddy?"


	26. Buffy Meets Mr Roarke

This story is No. 26 in the series "Buffy Meets..."

Summary: Buffy and crew land at a special island…  
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Knight Rider, wish I did. Be doin', like, all kindsa crossovers!

* * *

It was another day of paradise on this remote island. From the bell tower of the palatial main residence, Tattoo shouted, "De plane, de plane!" as the island inhabitants went about their daily chores. All unaware, except for one man, of the newest attendees to this little corner of the world.

"Who's arriving today Boss?" Tattoo rasped, eager to finally learn who was on 'de plane' as he drew near the older gentleman at the docks.

Mr. Roarke, resplendent in his white suit as always, glanced at his long-time assistant saying, "We have some VERY special guests today my old friend."

After a moments silence Tattoo, as impatient as ever, asked, "So who is it Boss?"

Hiding a smirk Mr. Roarke said as the plane taxied to the dock, "All will be made clear soon Tattoo."

The first person to dis-embark was a slight, willowy young red-head woman. Following her was an older be-spectacled gentleman looking just a little 'green-around-the-gills'. Each had a lei placed around the neck and they graciously accepted the drinks offered.

Mr. Roarke said, "The young lady, a Ms. Willow Rosenberg, is arguably THE most powerful Wicca in the world Tattoo."

"The World Boss?" Tattoo asked dubiously.

"Ah yes, Tattoo," Mr. Roarke responded, "you heard correctly. The World."

Tattoo let out a low appreciative whistle.

"The British Gentleman is Rupert Giles…" Mr. Roarke started, but Tattoo interrupted him by saying, "Oh, I know him Boss. I actually knew Ripper back in the 1980's before he went back to de council."

"Really Tattoo?" Mr. Roarke asked with an eyebrow quirked.

As a young man in his mid-twenties stepped off the plane Mr. Roarke said, "The young man wearing the eye-patch is one Alexander Harris. He is known as 'The-One-Who-Sees'."

"Does that mean he can see past illusions Boss?" Tattoo asked nervously backing away.

"Yes, Tattoo," Mr. Roarke calmly replied, "but you needn't worry."

"Easy for you to say Boss."

"And last, but by no means least," Mr. Roarke said as the last passenger exited the sea-plane, "We have one Buffy Anne Summers, The Slayer."

Hissing in his breath Tattoo growled, "Are you crazy 'Boss'?"

Turning to lock eyes with his supposed assistant Mr. Roarke assuredly stated, "Tattoo, I am of sound mind and body. Where is your trust?"

Relaxing slightly the being known to the island inhabitants as Tattoo hissed through teeth too pointed to be considered human, "Where it's always been old man."

Ignoring his glowering subordinate for now, Mr. Roarke, Master of the Island took up the offered flute of champagne. Raising his drink to the newest visitors he issued a familiar toast, "My Friends! Welcome to Fantasy Island. May your stay be 'invigorating' and everything you expect it to be!"


End file.
